Armchair QB

May 10, 2011

AQB: Really, Forbes?

By Sports Editor

Forbes.com listed NASCAR drivers as two of the top three of its ‘Most Influential Athletes.’ AQB says:

April 25, 2011

AQB: The Mythical Bear Hair

By Sports Editor

Just before the Grizzlies’ game-four win over the Spurs, guard Tony Allen briefly had an actual grizzly shaved into his hair before immediately removing it before tipoff. AQB says:

April 20, 2011

AQB: Think Your Job Prospects are Bad?

By Sports Editor

ESPN released a list of the best-paid athletes from around the world. It’s no surprise that A-Rod and Manny Pacquiao top it, but AQB’s favorite? It's not who you would think.

April 19, 2011

AQB: Lamar Odom’s New Hardware

By Sports Editor

Lamar Odom became the first Laker ever to win the NBA’s sixth man award yesterday. Second best athlete in the league? Maybe not. But look at it this way:

April 18, 2011

AQB: MLB Low on T-shirts?

By Sports Editor

Amidst the NBA playoff insanity, Cincinatti Reds pitcher Mike Leake went to Macy’s and stole ten six-dollar T-shirts. And got caught.

April 13, 2011

AQB: The NBA’s Jersey Sale Numbers are In

By Sports Editor

LeBron James passed Kobe Bryant for the NBA’s highest jersey sales this year, the first time he’s won since his rookie season. AQB wonders what that must mean for the NBA as a whole?

April 12, 2011

AQB: Jimmer Fredette is Too Famous

By Sports Editor

The Prince of Provo himself, Jimmer Fredette, was asked by BYU to take his classes online because he’s too famous and it disrupts his peers’ learning. Only in Utah.

April 10, 2011

AQB: Derrick Rose is Magical

By Sports Editor

AQB once thought that Derrick Rose was the Forrest Gump of the NBA because of his post-game interviews. But after 38 points on 13-17 FG and five assists in 37 minutes yesterday?

April 6, 2011

AQB: It’s Wiffle Ball Season Again!

By Sports Editor

People should start playing wiffle ball again. It’s so much better than Madden. It’s physical. Competitive. You can play it anywhere. Plus...

April 4, 2011

AQB: On the NBA’s Newest Hall of Famers

By Sports Editor

The basketball Hall of Fame has some new members: Dennis Rodman and Chris Mullin. What an odd pair those two make.

March 29, 2011

AQB: On Barry Bonds’ Steroids Trial

By Sports Editor

According to ESPN.com, Barry Bonds thought his Giants team trainers were “spies.” What, like James Bond?

March 27, 2011

AQB: Bracket Busting

By Sports Editor

Out of 5.9 million-plus brackets created on ESPN.com, only two predicted this year’s Final Four. Two. People. AQB says:

March 2, 2011

AQB: Let’s Get it Up, BYU!

By Sports Editor

It turns out that BYU’s Brandon Davies was booted off the team for having sex. The players aren’t even allowed to have sex?

March 1, 2011

Armchair Lorax: The Honor Policy

By Sports Editor

BYU’s starting forward was kicked off the team for violating the school’s honor policy. Mormon jokes aside, AQB loves UCSB because he plagiarized this shit.

February 23, 2011

AQB: About that Toga Party…

By Sports Editor

In honor of Mark Bogard and his fitness column, AQB has been running every day for the past three weeks, minus the last two.

February 23, 2011

Armchair QB

By Sports Editor

AQB is dedicating this one to all the athletes mentioned in this issue for their first time who will get laid exponentially more from now on. That’s what journalists do: Get other people laid for free.