According to ESPN.com, Barry Bonds thought his Giants team trainers were “spies.” Like James Bond? Was 007 ever dumb enough to let the bad guys stick needles in his butt? AQB thinks not.
AQB: On Barry Bonds’ Steroids Trial
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Please Don’t Try to Bike Over the Hump Pls
Labyrinth: Grades Search
Aries
March 21 - April 19
Choked by their cap tassel during a graduation photoshoot
Taurus
April 20 - May 20
Accidentally daps the Chancellor up as they receive their diploma
Gemini
May 21 - June 20
Decided to skip commencement to go day drink on Del Playa
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
Ugly crying so hard they drown out "Pomp and Circumstance"
Leo
July 23 - August 22
Posing on stage like there's a model scout in the audience (there was)
Virgo
August 23 - September 22
Can't make it up the steps due to the sheer amount of cords, stoles, and leis
Libra
September 23 - October 22
Couldn't decide on a grad dress so they showed up in pajamas under their gown
Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
Showed up to commencement high and suffering from horrendous munchies
Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
Somehow juggling the 15 ceremonies required for their triple major
Capricorn
December 22 - January 19
Graduated with a 5 year plan, chronic anxiety, and a great internship
Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
Reading Kafka in the audience in hopes of an honorary English degree
Pisces
February 19 - March 20
had their graduation photos taken in the lagoon to be different
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Did you write The Situation’s jokes from the Donald Trump roast? This is awful