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Bitter Critics Need to Taste Sweet I.V. Life

October 24, 2001 by Tiffany Miller

While I have never met Alice, I'm convinced that she is a bitter, cynical person who believes that she is better than everyone else.
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Hey, Freshman: Stop Your Bitching and Get a New Bike

October 24, 2001 by Staff

I'm sure you'll get better adjusted to campus life and maybe even parties. You may eventually start going to 8 a.m. classes in your pajamas like the rest of us rather than in make-up.
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The Beach Is Not Your Dumping Ground; Let’s Keep It Clean

October 24, 2001 by Staff

In just one day, we managed to pick up 25 large garbage bags worth of trash all along the shores below DP, plus a TV, an old computer, two decomposing mattresses, several plastic chairs and tiki torch...
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Isla Vista, the ‘Death Trap’ That Hides Pockets of Culture and Artistic Talent

October 24, 2001 by Henry Sarria

I don't know how many times I've heard it said, but if there were a dollar for every time it has been said to me, then a millionaire I would be: "Isla Vista is a cultural black hole/death trap."
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No One Rallies Around the Flag Like A Moron

October 23, 2001 by Steven Ruszczycky

There's just something about trying times that brings out the worst in people. While most would resort to anger or fear, Americans have a distinctive talent for falling back on their ability to be inh...
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Reactionary Pacifists Need to Support the Fight for Justice

October 23, 2001 by Josh Bennet

The only thing worse than a knee-jerk use of U.S. force is a knee-jerk reaction against the use of force to defend our country.
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Red Tape: Lies, Damned Lies and Outdated Statistics

October 22, 2001 by Josh Braun

After two and a half years at UCSB I am still unsettled by professors using obscenely outdated statistics to make points about gender inequality.
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I Know It’s Crap, Oh Such Crap, Because I Saw It on TV

October 22, 2001 by Cara Jennison

I turned on CNN this morning. The talking head and an "analyst" loomed over a football field-sized map of Eurasia like a pair of colossi, the analyst pointing to areas of Afghanistan with a red-tipped...
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Living Without Vowels: A Blockbuster Idea for National Defense

October 19, 2001 by Steven Ruszczycky

When the government enlisted top writers, directors and video game designers to help increase national security, people started scratching their heads.
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The Obligatory Column by a Freshman About I.V. Parties

October 19, 2001 by Alice Shin

When I was getting my wisdom teeth pulled two months ago, my dentist commented on how I was "becoming a lady - let me guess! 13?" This leads me to believe that I will have the "FRESHMAN" sign forever ...
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All-American Greed Will Win

October 18, 2001 by Sean Corbin

I am not afraid of anthrax; I am afraid of driving, second-hand smoke, AIDS, prostate cancer, smallpox, pneumonia, police brutality, Alzheimer's, heart disease and people who consider L. Ron Hubbard a...
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The Rump Halo

October 18, 2001 by Staff

I don’t get this new female jean style. Massive fading strictly applied to the ass cheeks and thighs make it look like a lot of cowboys ride your saddle. It also looks like you’re going fo...
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Farrah’s Column Full of Distortions; The Dead Are Not Necessarily Martyrs

October 18, 2001 by Staff

In response to Jeff Farrah's ignorant though well-meaning column "U.S. Won Cold War to Free World, Not to Fear Terrorists" (Oct. 17), I would like to propose the following clarifications.
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With Liberty and Justice for Buttsylvania and Leggies

October 18, 2001 by Brendan Buhler

My fifth-grade class was a lot more competent than A.S. Legislative Council. We got the garbage out of the way early and quickly, so we could move onto the class' important business: eating paste and ...
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The Un-American USA Act

October 17, 2001 by Drew Atkins

There’s a very important piece of legislation going through Congress right now named the USA Act. It would be in your best interest to take the time to learn about it.
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