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Bwaaaa!

The WeatherNeighbor got too drunk at the WeatherPad last night and awoke this morning with a wicked hangover. She ran to the bathroom to vomit, but one of the WeatherHousemates was already in there ta...
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Leo Lydon Was More Than Another Name in the Paper

Leo was not your average college freshman. He seemed normal. As the year progressed, however, we would find out that normal reached a whole new level with Leo.
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There’s No Pill for Proper Parenting

Accutane, adolescents and single-engine aircraft are the latest recipe for disaster, at least according to officials in my former home state of Florida.
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Plover Porno

Plovers are chubby chasers. That is why most of Sands Beach is closed off. Too much exercise kills the erotic tension on the beach, destroying the plover’s natural chunky love. Flying, running o...
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The Web Forum: Leo Lydon

"Leo was one of my best friends. I knew him since he was seven. We went through so much together. I can't even start to tell any of you how much this really sucks."
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Parking Lots and People Aren’t Good Sex Aids for Plovers

The county planners, bright and well-meaning chaps all, are kicking around a plan to enhance the natural beauty of Sands Beach with a big, fat parking lot. Just like at Goleta Beach.
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Living With a Hernia

The weatherpet is not a young guinea pig. He was confronted with this fact over Winter Break: one minute he was kicking and punching with Billy Blanks, the next he was futilely grasping at his side. T...
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Over-the-Counter Insurance

The new year brings with it smarter birth control for Californians. As of Jan. 1, it is legal for every woman in the state to purchase the morning-after pill over the counter at her local pharmacy.
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The Sea May Be Old, but There’s Still Plenty of Motion in That Ocean

When my family and friends found out I was (finally) getting laid, I was almost surprised to discover that their reactions were all the same. They were shocked.
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UCSB’s Torchbearers Deserve Recognition for Their Distinction

UCSB is well represented in the 2002 Olympic Torch Relay by two inspirational individuals who both happen to be from the Department of Dramatic Arts.
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Living Without Vowels: Ringing in a Year of Disasters, Cartoons and Vomit

Most people make resolutions they won't keep, they plan for things that will never happen and they dream about how things will be different. I guess I can't blame them too much - optimism never killed...
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A Sight as Lovely as a ‘Shroom

I intend to resurrect the art of journalistic prose.
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Sweet Home Isla Vista: Busted Plumbing, Moldy Wall and Idiot Neighbors

In Isla Vista there are two ways to deal with a poor living environment: Either heavily self-medicate, or find a sanctuary outside of your luxury apartment.
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New Year’s Wishes

If we had but one wish for the new year, we would wish for everyone in Isla Vista to help his or her neighbor and to live a life free of fear.
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Weather Geek

As the rest of skied and ate turkey this holiday season some of us here at the Nexus were working hard. Managing Editor Curtis Brainard mucked out 30 years of Nexus funk. I was in the library working ...
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