Opinion
Perhaps most interesting is the uncanny ability of rats to jump ship when the vessel faces imminent doom. However, when the good ship Enron started taking on water, the government decided to ignore th...
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I walked into the Isla Vista Bookstore on Monday afternoon with a bantamweight bank account and high hopes. I left a half an hour later a confused and broken man.
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There have been a few letters suggesting I have played a pivotal role in the Goleta Project Area Committee flag incident and the recall efforts of 3rd District Supervisor Gail Marshall.
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There are many professions which deal with the dark aspects of humanity: doctors, divorce lawyers and journalists are just a few.
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Sneakers reached the limits of tasteful, sensible design in the late eighties. Since then sneakers have splintered into the cross trainer, the tennis shoe, the basketball shoe ...
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At the coastline, sailboats and oil platforms take up the shining torch, stretching out toward the horizon where they meet the sky, and turn the entire world into one giant field of stars.
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Your boyfriend's penis is not "your penis." It is HIS penis and it was his penis long before you two began sleeping together. And he will most likely share his penis with others after you two break up...
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Leo was not your average college freshman. He seemed normal. As the year progressed, however, we would find out that normal reached a whole new level with Leo.
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Accutane, adolescents and single-engine aircraft are the latest recipe for disaster, at least according to officials in my former home state of Florida.
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Plovers are chubby chasers. That is why most of Sands Beach is closed off. Too much exercise kills the erotic tension on the beach, destroying the plover’s natural chunky love. Flying, running o...
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"Leo was one of my best friends. I knew him since he was seven. We went through so much together. I can't even start to tell any of you how much this really sucks."
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The county planners, bright and well-meaning chaps all, are kicking around a plan to enhance the natural beauty of Sands Beach with a big, fat parking lot. Just like at Goleta Beach.
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The weatherpet is not a young guinea pig. He was confronted with this fact over Winter Break: one minute he was kicking and punching with Billy Blanks, the next he was futilely grasping at his side. T...
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Ride through the bike path without crashing
Find a seat at the red couches on the second floor of the library
Sunrise and sunset dip on the same day
Find parking on Del Playa Drive
Drunk for 24 hours
Bagel crawl
First pick at an Arbor muffin in the morning
Participate in a mosh pit at a band show
Finally talk to their class crush
Get an earlier pass time than their friends in GOLD
Graduate
Successfully walk through I.V. without seeing an old hookup
