Opinion

Columns

Sign of the Times

Virtual Reality

Argument in the Office

Wanna Write for Opinion?

All Opinion Posts

The Cart of Darkness

January 14, 2002 by Staff

There are many professions which deal with the dark aspects of humanity: doctors, divorce lawyers and journalists are just a few.
read more

They’re a Deal at $130.

January 14, 2002 by Staff

Sneakers reached the limits of tasteful, sensible design in the late eighties. Since then sneakers have splintered into the cross trainer, the tennis shoe, the basketball shoe ...
read more

Red Tape: Above Streetlights, Bathed in Starlight

January 14, 2002 by Josh Braun

At the coastline, sailboats and oil platforms take up the shining torch, stretching out toward the horizon where they meet the sky, and turn the entire world into one giant field of stars.
read more

No One’s Genitals Are the Property of Someone Else

January 11, 2002 by Theo Baker

Your boyfriend's penis is not "your penis." It is HIS penis and it was his penis long before you two began sleeping together. And he will most likely share his penis with others after you two break up...
read more

Bwaaaa!

January 11, 2002 by Staff

The WeatherNeighbor got too drunk at the WeatherPad last night and awoke this morning with a wicked hangover. She ran to the bathroom to vomit, but one of the WeatherHousemates was already in there ta...
read more

Leo Lydon Was More Than Another Name in the Paper

January 11, 2002 by Abby Collins

Leo was not your average college freshman. He seemed normal. As the year progressed, however, we would find out that normal reached a whole new level with Leo.
read more

There’s No Pill for Proper Parenting

January 10, 2002 by Henry Sarria

Accutane, adolescents and single-engine aircraft are the latest recipe for disaster, at least according to officials in my former home state of Florida.
read more

Plover Porno

January 10, 2002 by Staff

Plovers are chubby chasers. That is why most of Sands Beach is closed off. Too much exercise kills the erotic tension on the beach, destroying the plover’s natural chunky love. Flying, running o...
read more

The Web Forum: Leo Lydon

January 10, 2002 by Staff

"Leo was one of my best friends. I knew him since he was seven. We went through so much together. I can't even start to tell any of you how much this really sucks."
read more

Parking Lots and People Aren’t Good Sex Aids for Plovers

January 10, 2002 by Brendan Buhler

The county planners, bright and well-meaning chaps all, are kicking around a plan to enhance the natural beauty of Sands Beach with a big, fat parking lot. Just like at Goleta Beach.
read more

Living With a Hernia

January 9, 2002 by Staff

The weatherpet is not a young guinea pig. He was confronted with this fact over Winter Break: one minute he was kicking and punching with Billy Blanks, the next he was futilely grasping at his side. T...
read more

Over-the-Counter Insurance

January 9, 2002 by Staff

The new year brings with it smarter birth control for Californians. As of Jan. 1, it is legal for every woman in the state to purchase the morning-after pill over the counter at her local pharmacy.
read more

The Sea May Be Old, but There’s Still Plenty of Motion in That Ocean

January 9, 2002 by Sarah Kent

When my family and friends found out I was (finally) getting laid, I was almost surprised to discover that their reactions were all the same. They were shocked.
read more

UCSB’s Torchbearers Deserve Recognition for Their Distinction

January 9, 2002 by Geren Piltz

UCSB is well represented in the 2002 Olympic Torch Relay by two inspirational individuals who both happen to be from the Department of Dramatic Arts.
read more

Living Without Vowels: Ringing in a Year of Disasters, Cartoons and Vomit

January 8, 2002 by Steven Ruszczycky

Most people make resolutions they won't keep, they plan for things that will never happen and they dream about how things will be different. I guess I can't blame them too much - optimism never killed...
read more