Opinion

May 15, 2002

thINK

By Staff

May 15, 2002

Well Blow Me Down, Oral Sex Is Just a Tool to Avoid Guilt Trips

By Sarah Kent

You'd be surprised at the topics that pop up around my grandmother's dinner table sometimes. We were discussing my cousin - a man slut if there ever was one - and his new girlfriend.

May 15, 2002

Hey Undergraduates, Shut It. TAs Need Parking More Than You

By Brian Norton

TAs are poor and are more important than students. That's right, I said it, you know it's true.

May 14, 2002

Laundry Merry-Go-Round

By Staff

My crotch is damp right now. Yesterday, I spent $8.75 of the froggypopfund to entertain my clothes at the Laundry Fun Center (“the laundromat” to the fucking idiot). I poured in some detergent, and for only $...

May 14, 2002

Hot Time in the Ol’ County

By John Scherrei

At a recent meeting of the Fire Chief's Association of Santa Barbara County, chiefs from several agencies and departments discussed the upcoming fire season and what we might expect.

May 14, 2002

Living Without Vowels: Same-sex Schools Are Sure to Save Society

By Steven Ruszczycky

Thankfully, our good, born-again Christian President Bush decided that a return to Victorian sensibility is just what this nation needs. His first target: public schools.

May 13, 2002

The Red Tape: Student Vocabularies are Shit

By Josh Braun

As a general rule, I try not to cuss - not in my speech, not in my columns. Am I perfect on either count? Fuck no. But today, I'll make an exception to prove a point.

May 13, 2002

Nexus Should Cover Club Sports Like My Rowing Team

By Christopher Lem

I think that the Daily Nexus' coverage of club sports is pathetic. Everyday readers look at the sports page and are constantly reminded of how much our NCAA Division I Teams suck ass.

May 13, 2002

Always Bundle up Your Genitals, There is Disease, Infection in I.V.

By Jonathan Siders

Does everyone in I.V. have sex? And if they do are they being safe about it? No, not everyone is having sex, in fact 17 percent of UCSB students do not engage in oral, anal or vaginal sexual intercourse.

May 10, 2002

More Peanuts for the Masses

By Staff

You know the big boxes that arrived in Storke Plaza Thursday?

May 10, 2002

Feces Finders

By Staff

It's a shitty job but it's good that someone's going to do it. Some malicious fecal matter is adrift in our oceans and now we're going to know how much is really there.

May 10, 2002

The Best Anniversary Gifts Are Fire and Flood

By Brendan Buhler

When the date approaches and your steely eyed girlfriend wonders just what you have in store for her, you plan. While no man wishes for war or anniversaries, they are thrust upon us for the preservation of all we cherish...

May 8, 2002

Weather Talent

By Staff

I am retooling the weatherrésumé. I have decided that while there are a lot of things I am very good at, they are not necessarily things I want to advertise.

May 8, 2002

Weather: I Thought We Were Friends, Dave

By Staff

The WeatherComputer has been rebelling. It shuts down on its own, runs programs nobody tells it to; it's trying to take control.

May 8, 2002

The Red Tape: Bioethics Research Blues

By Josh Braun

Researching bioethics issues is fascinating. It's my job. It's a pain in the ass. The problem is that few people in the news media appear to have any idea what they are actually talking about.

May 8, 2002