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Hey! That’s My CalPIRG You’re Talking About

January 20, 2004 by Andrea Angus

This column is in response to last Thurday's column by Alec Mouhibian, "Campus Littered With CalPIRG Representatives" (Daily Nexus, Jan. 15, 2004).
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Correction: It’s Tuesday

January 20, 2004 by

Nothing for you today. I tried fitting a joke in this "space," but found it impossible. I hate corrections.
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Pondering Pap Smears

January 16, 2004 by Marquesa Finch Monique Sherman

SHAC, the Student Health Advisory Committee is ready to bring you another installment of health care info. Testing for sexually transmitted diseases is a thought that crosses many students' minds, tho...
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Double Bastard

January 16, 2004 by

Birthday time again. You know how the 'human feels about birthdays. Only this time, it's all doubled - the joy, the madness, the fear and hating - all doubled.
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Bad Manners Along the Bike Lane

January 16, 2004 by Amy Krakower

The other day, I was double-crossed. While on the trusty bike I like to call Rinaldo, I experienced what many of us bicyclists have - an accident. The male perpetrator came from behind, passed me on t...
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Stolen and Dumped Hot Line

January 16, 2004 by The Opinions Staff

It's a good thing that fuckwad didn't gank the Friday Daily Nexus. Otherwise, both of our faithful Hot Line readers would miss out on their weekly strip o' mirth.
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Running on Rocket Fuel

January 15, 2004 by

So now Bush is all jazzed about landing us on Mars. Will someone please tell him that's not where the candy bars come from?
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May Wild Dogs Devour You

January 15, 2004 by Daily Nexus Editorial Board

Sometime before 10 this morning, some foul beast of a man, possibly aided by others, took all available copies of the Daily Nexus from at least 10 of the racks on campus and threw them in trash bins n...
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Cellular Hell on the Road and on a Dinner Date

January 15, 2004 by Henry Sarria

I went out on a date downtown with a girl I met through a friend. We met up at Longboards Grill for dinner and all was going great until her cell phone started ringing every couple of minutes. The fir...
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Campus Littered With CALPIRG Representatives

January 15, 2004 by Alec Mouhibian

Walking on campus recently, I was interrupted from an intense conversation with myself by a little man who asked, "Have you pledged for the environment yet?"
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Below the Bottom of Any Human Comprehension

January 15, 2004 by Cole Pilegard

Have you ever seen a commercial that was so horrible, so gaudy, so blatantly retarded that by the time it was over you actually considered suicide as an alternative to changing the channel?
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I’m for Parking Free in I.V.

January 14, 2004 by Steve Pappas

I am running for the office of district supervisor because I am passionate about keeping this district pristine and natural while nurturing economic growth and planning with the input and involvement ...
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Propaganja

January 14, 2004 by The Weatherhuman

From the Stranger Than Fiction file: I was perusing the rack of informative pamphlets at Student Health. Got to skip over the STD rack - the only benefit of genderless 'humanism.
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Assignments or State-Sponsored Eco-terrorism?

January 14, 2004 by Daniel Haier

Far from trampling through lush forests with chainsaws revving, aggressively slashing and burning our way through stacks of lumber, we destroy trees in a much more efficient and innocent fashion. We c...
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Sexually Speaking, Everyone Could Use a Tip or Two

January 14, 2004 by Kate Rice

Four years ago, when I was a freshman here at UCSB, a girl across the hallway in my dorm, who I desperately hope is reading this now, drew a picture of what she called a penis and showed it to me.
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