Opinion
Getting to the point, what I'd like to accomplish with this column is to spread disrespect. It's not a nice thing to do, but healthy nonetheless. Respect for the opinion of many pundits, especially Mi...
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Yeah, I flaked and passed out before I filled yesterday's box. But, hey, everyone makes mistakes - this office is full of them. Thanks to the 'neanderthal for filling yesterday's space and the morons ...
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Every year, we receive complaints from students and student groups about various posting concerns on campus. During election season, these complaints often involve nefarious activities and shenanigans...
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It has come to my attention that some of you are stupid - that is, the slow, the dense, the willfully ignorant, the ones who just don't get it. I think we can all agree that the university, an institu...
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At about four in the morning Sunday, I was woken up by the sound of some drunken shouting outside my window. This has happened before, so I didn't pay attention to the drunken jackassing around that w...
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You, your boozer friends and your shitty car just aren't welcome, apparently. As part of a plan to reduce the fun out-of-town revelers have in Isla Vista, Academic Senate Chair Walter Yuen proposed to...
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Dear readers, the Weatherhuman was not to be found on Superbowl Sunday, most likely because the human was not answering the phone at the Fortress of Inebriation.
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One of the things that made Saddam stand out as a dictator among dictators was that he liked to partake in his tortures, not just command them from above. In one video recording, he sits and watches a...
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In the article "Don't Waste Money on Weed, Make Money With It," (Daily Nexus, Jan. 28) Joel Furman discusses the anti-drug commercials that pollute our airways and waste our desperately needed tax mon...
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Sometimes you have to wonder about the outgoing product of our wonderful UC system. I mean, there's a billion and one things in this world to legitimately complain about. But a banana? No, I'm not sid...
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Believing myself to be an ace political commentator, the following advice could very well make or break Democratic presidential campaigns. If you or someone you know is acquainted with any of the cand...
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I'm not sure when it was that I first saw the commercial for Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. That probably means that I do lack attention to detail, due to distractibility - very frequently.
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College kinda hurts. We at the Hot Line know this pain. We share it. And like many of you, we often take it upon ourselves to numb the pain and drive off the horrors of this cut-throat university lif...
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Students occasionally ask me how to best take advantage of their four years. Information is cheap, but growth and understanding is hard to come by. Most undergraduates follow the path of least resista...
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A werewolf who definitely howled mid make-out
A performative male dressed as Tyler Durden
The mime that somehow made it hot and cool
The ghost of your situationship (no, it’s actually them)
Frat vampire, and your neck will be bleeding
The angel that has definitely never gone out
The literal devil
A prisoner with fake tattoos that you can pretend are real for the night
A sexy cowboy that definitely used the ride line at least four times
A Patrick Bateman who relates a little too much
The witch who asked for your zodiac sign first
A nurse who will leave you needing CPR
