Opinion
The Occupy Wall Street protesters are a mindless rabble of envious deadbeats. When they aren’t doing drugs and breaking laws, they’re busy defecating on police cars and marching on the private hom...
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Before I get going, I must apologize for the sand all over this article. I just got back from the beach and as I sit here, sipping my Kona Brewing Company Longboard and looking out over Kaneohe Bay, I...
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The Daily Nexus has written several defamatory articles regarding my actions with one of the student employees that I supervise. I will point out that the reporter never contacted me to ask if these w...
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Let me start by saying that I am the house dog and a proud member of the Pi Omega Omega Pi fraternity. I love all my brothers and I know that one day those guys will be the groomsmen at my wedding. In...
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Statewide budget cuts have put pressure on almost every department of UCSB. Even our most successful sports programs have recently found themselves strapped for cash. But, by a stroke of luck, the UCS...
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New rental, new landlord, new roommate(s), new neighbors, not to mention all the changes to get used to with the start of school … Aghhh! When will all this newness and change end? Hate to break it ...
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Though the word “more” in this question is vague, I assume that it means, “Which existence is more valuable?” I believe that humans’ lives are much more valuable than any machine’s, even t...
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If you haven’t had the sheer terror of waking up in a bed that’s not your own, with your first thought being, “I need to get the fuck out of here,” then you haven’t lived. No, I kid, I kid. ...
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Left Said: “Nothing can be said to be certain, except love and war.” — Benjamin Franklin “All is fair in death and taxes.” — Anonymous proverb Wait a minute. Something tells me I didn’t ...
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Right Said: As President Obama pontificated to the nation last month about how Stimulus II would renew our economy and restore the middle class he claims has evaporated, he made it abundantly clear th...
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“We are the 99 percent.” As you may or may not know, for almost a month now there have been thousands of people occupying a park near Wall Street in New York City as part of the “Occupy Wall Str...
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As your Associated Students president, it is my duty and honor, among a myriad of other responsibilities, to serve as the liaison between my undergraduate student peers and our formal association. In ...
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From Facebook, via a personal computer, I learned of Steve Jobs’ tragic passing. The irony of the information’s medium was not lost upon me or the Internet community. After the initial shock, unde...
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For the first time in human history, we are living in an age of countless bounty. Excess. We have access to everything and anything, good and bad. You and I are the small fraction of humanity alive to...
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Sources have confirmed that the Lagoon and Storke Tower “hooked up” for the first time this past Saturday night. The two were seen canoodling outside a party at their mutual friend Campbell Hall...
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A werewolf who definitely howled mid make-out
A performative male dressed as Tyler Durden
The mime that somehow made it hot and cool
The ghost of your situationship (no, it’s actually them)
Frat vampire, and your neck will be bleeding
The angel that has definitely never gone out
The literal devil
A prisoner with fake tattoos that you can pretend are real for the night
A sexy cowboy that definitely used the ride line at least four times
A Patrick Bateman who relates a little too much
The witch who asked for your zodiac sign first
A nurse who will leave you needing CPR
