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Law and Order Necessary in Immigration Reform

Right Said: Every American is somewhat familiar with the immigrant experience, most more recently than the Mayflower landing at Plymouth or the Godspeed at Jamestown. My own maternal ancestors came to...
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Stop Regurgitating All Over Your Exams: Take a Lesson in Ingestion – Learn How to Learn

Midterms are approaching and you have that unfortunately now-common feeling of, “Goddamn it, I did it again.” Well I’m altogether not surprised you haven’t mastered your material, because you ...
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Selfish Protestors Unfairly Victimize the Honest Business Man

The Occupy Wall Street protesters are a mindless rabble of envious deadbeats. When they aren’t doing drugs and breaking laws, they’re busy defecating on police cars and marching on the private hom...
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If You’re Drinking Month-Old Natty Light, You Deserve Much Worse Than a Ticket

Before I get going, I must apologize for the sand all over this article. I just got back from the beach and as I sit here, sipping my Kona Brewing Company Longboard and looking out over Kaneohe Bay, I...
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A.S. Employee Explains Events, Expresses Frustration

The Daily Nexus has written several defamatory articles regarding my actions with one of the student employees that I supervise. I will point out that the reporter never contacted me to ask if these w...
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Fraternity Dog Looking to Settle Down, Try His Paw at Love

Let me start by saying that I am the house dog and a proud member of the Pi Omega Omega Pi fraternity. I love all my brothers and I know that one day those guys will be the groomsmen at my wedding. In...
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UCSB Volleyball Team Raises Money Selling DNA to Aryan Brotherhood

Statewide budget cuts have put pressure on almost every department of UCSB. Even our most successful sports programs have recently found themselves strapped for cash. But, by a stroke of luck, the UCS...
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The Honeymoon’s Over and Your Roommate Sucks: Now What?

New rental, new landlord, new roommate(s), new neighbors, not to mention all the changes to get used to with the start of school … Aghhh! When will all this newness and change end? Hate to break it ...
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If Atheists Don’t Believe in the Soul, What Sets Humans Apart?

Though the word “more” in this question is vague, I assume that it means, “Which existence is more valuable?” I believe that humans’ lives are much more valuable than any machine’s, even t...
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When Early Morning Stealth Fails, Awkwardness Prevails

If you haven’t had the sheer terror of waking up in a bed that’s not your own, with your first thought being, “I need to get the fuck out of here,” then you haven’t lived. No, I kid, I kid. ...
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Progressive Taxes Mitigate Financial Woes

Left Said: “Nothing can be said to be certain, except love and war.” — Benjamin Franklin “All is fair in death and taxes.” — Anonymous proverb Wait a minute. Something tells me I didn’t ...
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Comprehensive Reform Necessary to Reduce Debt

Right Said: As President Obama pontificated to the nation last month about how Stimulus II would renew our economy and restore the middle class he claims has evaporated, he made it abundantly clear th...
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Media Wrongly Portrays ‘Occupy’ Protests As Aimless

“We are the 99 percent.” As you may or may not know, for almost a month now there have been thousands of people occupying a park near Wall Street in New York City as part of the “Occupy Wall Str...
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A.S. President Urges Student Body to Read Beyond the Headlines

As your Associated Students president, it is my duty and honor, among a myriad of other responsibilities, to serve as the liaison between my undergraduate student peers and our formal association. In ...
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Steve Jobs’ Lasting Legacy: A World Fraught With Opportunity

From Facebook, via a personal computer, I learned of Steve Jobs’ tragic passing. The irony of the information’s medium was not lost upon me or the Internet community. After the initial shock, unde...
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