Opinion
Organized labor is a foundation upon which our society is built, and its efforts have led to some of the most critical reform of the last century in this country. It is the institution that allows wor...
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Spring is in the air, and it’s a beautiful time to be on campus. As you’re settling into your final quarter of the school year, many of you are applying for summer internships and finalizing your ...
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In 2008 Steve Pappas lost the 3rd District Supervisor seat to Doreen Farr by a slim margin. Disgruntled by the two-to-one majority that the student population of UCSB and Isla Vista gave to Farr, Papp...
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On Saturday, April 7, local ladies’ man Brendan Marden bought tickets for himself and Jennifer Pollard for the newly re-released “Titanic” in 3D in an attempt to get laid. Marden, who had been ...
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As a UCSB student, you are going to graduate with a degree from an esteemed research university and will be able to get any job you want … or so you think. Many of us have all the qualifications nee...
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What is it about someone telling you to be nice that makes you want to punch them in the face? We’ve all been there — making fun of someone for something they did, hating a girl because she’s pr...
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March Madness, the Masters and Deltopia have all come and gone. Coachella is coming up, but it will pass too. With fleeting forms of entertainment coming and going, it’s assuring to know that we hav...
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As if singing songs, holding hands, and swallowing millennia-year-old dogma in the name of Christ’s gift of salvation every Sunday weren’t enough, Easter — the made-up day of Jesus’s cloud-mou...
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Have you ever woken up one morning and realized you’re the hipster? My friends talk about how they hate the self-involved hypocrisy of these types of folks. But every day I feel like more and more o...
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Nation. People. Literate UCSB students. I come before you today to offer a study that will revolutionize science. Its elegance, infallibility, and pure genius will force the Nobel committee to establi...
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When the Founding Fathers established this great nation, they did so in the name of one principal concept: individual liberty guaranteed by a divine creator. Our Constitution, the “Supreme Law” of...
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It’s finally upon us: the court case of the decade. Not since Bush v. Gore (2000) has a Supreme Court case garnered such widespread coverage and clout before a decision has even been passed — alth...
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Another year has gone by, and once again Floatopia was successfully banned. That’s three years now, which in my opinion is pretty damn depressing. As a third-year student, I got here just in time fo...
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Growing up, I believed a lot of ridiculous things. For example, I convinced myself that the force was real for a while after watching “Star Wars” — the movie, obviously, was exaggerated, but the...
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Money is flooding into political elections at an unprecedented rate, giving an enormous amount of influence to wealthy interests in our country. For decades special interest groups have spent millions...
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Everything shower every day
Has an extensive tote bag collection but never brings one to Trader Joe’s
Reusing condoms
Collecting tears to water their plants
Asking to shower together to “save water”
Air conditioning and electric blanket running simultaneously
Has gone from Temu to SHEIN for bikini purchases
Fracking
On their 10th flight out of Santa Barbara Airport this month
Owns seven Stanley cups
Wrote their environmental ethics essay with ChatGPT
Vegan contributing to Big Almond
