Mind, Body & Soul
It is with this article today that I wish to start examining the way that sex has shaped our culture, particularly as it is relevant to I.V., and I feel an excellent place to start this is by examinin...
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My dearest Gauchos, today we will be discussing the do’s and don’ts of oral sex. Now, I have qualms with both my XXs and my XYs regarding your respective oral habits, and this may result in being ...
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As Halloween approaches, I find myself wondering what wonders the October holiday has in store for me. Will I relive freshman year, when a downpour melted the “costumes” off of a group of Isla Vis...
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Ladies and gentlemen, I come before you today a woman who enjoys indulging in her favorite adult toy when her roommates are gone. I am an avid fan of toys and if you aren’t, then you’ve probably n...
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Readers, it is with my first words that I must apologize: This Hump will not be on the seduction strategies of women in I.V. as was promised last week. Instead, I have been compelled by a number of so...
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With the first weekend of school recently past, I find myself in the aftermath of what few parties I could be dragged to, analyzing the information I gathered from them. While adrift in our beloved de...
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As the new school year dawns, I find myself inundated by the increased amount of strange faces around IV. These are undoubtedly our new and deeply respected incoming freshmen, and so allow me to welco...
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Once upon a time, there was a man who wanted to keep his relationship with a girl casual. Let’s call him a “noncommittal dating partner.” Understandably, however, he was often mistaken for a boy...
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It’s that time of the year again. June gloom slowly creeps up, with the calendar bitching at you to get your life together while your hands desperately shove tequila shots down your throat in an att...
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If you ever feel like risking your immortal soul, it is my suggestion that you peruse Craigslist’s casual encounters. The activity is quite enjoyable, especially if you are as demented as me and my ...
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Until college, I was the prude. The hot Asian prude, but nonetheless the prude. At my ironically slutty all-girls Catholic school, everyone tried to hide their obvious skankiness. And while my boyfrie...
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Now, I know I have almost beaten gender roles in our society to death, but I’ve still got one last little bit to harp on. All of this theory is leading up to something — a part of my sex life an a...
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Alumni Weekend came as quickly as an undersexed 35-year-old with a full-time cubicle job as soon as he spots something fertile. Like a dark, ominous cloud — holding not refreshing showers, but a dis...
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Most unfortunately, in order to speak of this next topic, I will have to address something fetid and repulsive. I’m going to talk about an aspect of intercourse that is often lost, forgotten, feared...
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The average person tells seven lies a day. I’m not sure if I read that from a Snapple fact or if I just made that up. But anyway, I didn’t believe it at first, until I started listening to half th...
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Chronically single
“Casual” by Chappell Roan
“Atmosphere” by FISHER
The entire shared playlist with their ex
“Je te laisserai des mots” by Patrick Watson
“If Only” by The Marías
Their ex’s old voice memos
White noise
“ceilings” by Lizzy McAlpine
“Marvins Room” by Drake
“KLOusFRENS” by Bad Bunny
“Somebody Else” by The 1975
