Nexustentialism

August 6, 2025

CALPIRG off the chain

By Serrano Ham

In the wake of the United States Environmental Protection Agency announcing its decision to withdraw its classification of greenhouse gases as harmful to public health and welfare, the California Public Interest Research...

July 29, 2025

UCSB to replace one-third of students with AI

By Gentle Giant

In a daring leap towards the future, UC Santa Barbara has recently announced plans to replace a third of its student body with artificial intelligence by the summer of 2026.

July 22, 2025

5 activities to keep yourself entertained in Isla Vista over summer

By Joseph R. Biden

Isla Vista: the unincorporated community where the streets are typically filled with bikers on their phones, drivers on their phones and inebriated pedestrians—usually on their phones.  From September to commenceme...

July 14, 2025

Timely warning: Freshman season has begun

By Serrano Ham

It happens like clockwork: as soon as decisions are released and commitments are made, they come in droves. The word is bitter on the tongue and makes the mouth twist with disgust. Freshmen. 

July 6, 2025

UCSB students overwhelmed by abundance of high-paying job offers

By Gentle Giant

In the wake of the booming American economy, thousands of UC Santa Barbara students are taking to social media, overwhelmed by the countless number of high-paying internships and job opportunities they are receiving.

June 29, 2025

A.S. resolution condemns war, Middle East declares peace

By Joseph R. Biden

World peace was declared on Wednesday after UC Santa Barbara’s Associated Students passed a resolution to condemn war. Fearing they would become the next victim in a long list of global organizations toppled by UCSB As...

May 29, 2025

Best ways to establish dominance over your roommate

By Gentle Giant

Ever wondered how to establish dominance over your roommate? Well look no further, these are the best ways to become the alpha.

May 29, 2025

Best song to play on guitar for girls: Wonderwall

By Kooky

Fellas, get rid of your feminist literature books and false love for matcha, as the fastest way to get ladies to drop their panties in today's day and age is a half-tuned guitar and a semi-courageous, off-key rendition o...

May 29, 2025

Best way to skip lecture

By Serrano Ham

By this time of the year, all you degenerates have already skipped at least one or two lectures. And if you say you haven’t, then you’re a liar and a degenerate. Skipping a lecture is an art form, it can either be a ...

May 29, 2025

Best way to manipulate women: Music

By Calico Critter

Daily Nexus sources have found that the best way to manipulate a woman is to display an interest in her music taste. Upon meeting her, a man should inquire about said music taste, gaining bonus points if they are able to...

May 29, 2025

Best place to walk: Campus bike paths

By Joseph R. Biden

Sometimes, walking on the sidewalks or pathways on campus can be so treacherous. It can be uneven, dusty and humiliating. Thankfully, UC Santa Barbara already has dedicated, even walkways for pedestrians that can take yo...

May 29, 2025

Best way to set your dorm fire alarm off: Aerosol flamethrower

By Jesse Joint

A constant in the life of a residential UCSB student is the ever-present fear of fire alarms going off at any hour, day or night. You have not truly lived in the dorms until you have been on the lawn in just a towel due ...

May 22, 2025

I.V. celebrates AAPI Month by opening another ambiguous Asian restaurant

By Joseph R. Biden

As a Bay Area native, I grew up surrounded by authentic, world-class Asian cuisine. Classic dim sum, delicious pho, fresh sushi and so much more were always within reach. However, I always took issue with these restauran...

May 15, 2025

Groundbreaking: Local white person feels “deep connection” to Hawai‘i

By Joseph R. Biden

Catherine Kegel, a second-year biology major at UC Santa Barbara, announced in her ANTH3 section on Friday that she feels “deeply connected” to the Hawaiian islands after her most recent family vacation. The statemen...

May 15, 2025

The wild side of UCSB emerges from under the cloud cover

By Serrano Ham

Under the hot sun, a pack of creatures gathers in the distance. Creeping through bushes littered with discarded red Solo cups and plastic bags, we get a closer look at these specimens. Here on the Anacapa lawn, we observ...

May 8, 2025

Santa Rosa demolition halted as rat population protests

By Serrano Ham

In the wake of Santa Rosa Residence Hall’s projected demolition in the 2026-27 school year, UC Santa Barbara’s rat population has protested their loss of housing. These rats have established historic colonies within ...