Nexustentialism

October 23, 2025

Associated Students passes Prop 67, Isla Vista divided

By Serrano Ham

In a shocking turn of events, a proposition has passed through the UC Santa Barbara Associated Students, officially seceding UC Santa Barbara from the state of California. This move, which experts have called “a classi...

October 23, 2025

Trump Declares Monarchy Amid “No Kings” Protests

By Gentle Giant

October 16, 2025

An expert’s guide to Halloween costumes

By Serrano Ham

As UC Santa Barbara languishes in the steamy, hot sun, the only thing spooky about this season is the midterms that are starting next week. But, despite the 80-degree weather, Halloween is rapidly approaching, and costum...

October 16, 2025

Breaking! Fraternities up to weird shit!

By The Mayor of PoundTown

Every fall, UC Santa Barbara’s most average male students try their best to be selected and admitted into a brotherhood with questionable roots, but lit ass parties. This year, the Daily Nexus has received dozens of re...

October 16, 2025

UCSB sororities announce newer, more impactful philanthropy

By Jane Goodall

In a bold move that campus officials are calling “a transformative act of compassion,” all UC Santa Barbara sororities have officially changed their philanthropies this quarter to focus on a single cause: helping fra...

October 9, 2025

Huh? Government shutdown forces UCSB to fire all RAs

By Serrano Ham

In response to the ongoing federal government shutdown, UC Santa Barbara has announced that all resident assistants (RAs) will be terminated, effective immediately. The decision to fire RAs, cited in a statement by the O...

October 9, 2025

Library announces new hours: Open 1-1:19 p.m. on Thursdays

By Joseph R. Biden

The UC Santa Barbara library announced last Friday that it has new, limited hours of operation: only on Thursdays from 1-1:19 p.m. The announcement followed a statement a few weeks ago when the library announced that it ...

October 2, 2025

Band party reaches new heights

By Serrano Ham

As Isla Vista welcomes back thousands of residents for the start of the new academic school year, students at UC Santa Barbara are witnessing the emergence of a new party culture. Roof sitters have become a prevalent pre...

October 2, 2025

Hive-mind syndrome spreads during sorority rush

By Gentle Giant

On Wednesday, September 25, rush season began at UC Santa Barbara for sororities across Isla Vista. What was supposed to be a fun traditional event gave rise to a small, localized pathogen that has, according to experts,...

September 16, 2025

Guy who has never thought or prayed sends “thoughts and prayers” to Charlie Kirk

By Joseph R. Biden

Somewhat right-wing political “activist” Charlie Kirk was shot and killed on Sept. 10 while speaking at a rally at Utah Valley University. The presumably politically motivated act led to hundreds of politicians and n...

September 7, 2025

5 easy side-hustles at UCSB (get rich quick!!!)

By Gentle Giant

With college tuition and Isla Vista rent rising every quarter, the need for money is at an all-time high. Luckily, I’m here to help. Here are five foolproof ways to make a quick buck at UC Santa Barbara. 1. Become a me...

August 31, 2025

Newsom continues mimicking Trump, plans insurrection

By Joseph R. Biden

For the past several weeks, California Governor Gavin Newsom has made headlines by giving the political right a taste of their own medicine with his all-caps X posts, circulation of AI-generated images and general flagra...

August 31, 2025

Answering your stupid questions

By Serrano Ham

In response to the copious amounts of incoming freshman questions, the Daily Nexus has made answering them an all-hands-on-deck event. Below are a few of the questions Serrano Ham has been forced to address. 

August 19, 2025

14 new hidden fees from BARC delight students

By Gentle Giant

With fall quarter just around the corner, UC Santa Barbara is rewarding returning students with a big surprise: hidden fees! Students logging into their BARC accounts this summer were greeted with a new wave of “innova...

August 14, 2025

Shocking! Freshman hates roommate

By Serrano Ham

With the beginning of the 2025-26 school year approaching, freshmen at UC Santa Barbara may have physically survived the gauntlet of room selection, but some have found that their relationships with their roommates may n...