Menstrual Cycles Deserve Love, Too

February 12, 2007 by

In July, I ran with the bulls. Every summer, throngs of thrill-seekers and daring tourists travel to Pamplona, Spain to participate in the celebrated "running of the bulls," or Encierro. The runners k...
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Military Policy on Queers Is in Danger

February 5, 2007 by

Intolerance can be a wonderful thing. For a petrified military draftee who faces the crippling prospect of war, our army's intolerance for homosexuals is a veritable blessing.
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Comedians Should Run for Office

January 29, 2007 by

In 1978, the Pail and Shovel Party ran for student government at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, on a platform of corruption - and they won. Jim Mallon, a founding member of the party, explained...
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Passing Gas: A.S. Legislations Are Applaudable Fascist Newspaper Should Be Eradicated

January 22, 2007 by

Of all the brilliant decisions Associated Students has made this academic year, the resolution passed last week to restrict the assets of the Daily Nexus is the most extraordinary.
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Passing Gas: UCSB Athletics Needs Overweight Players

January 17, 2007 by

Without a football team our school spirit is crippled. Instead of raucous tailgates, we have Freebirds. Instead of a stadium seething with pride, we have a street -Del Playa Drive - seeping with grime...
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Lazy People Are Severely Disadvantaged in Life

November 27, 2006 by

Laziness is a disability. In many ways, it is more debilitating than any mental or physical handicap.
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Passing Gas: Stop Wasting Your Time on Narcissists

November 20, 2006 by

Life is short and the time we have is valuable. We should avoid wasting our precious few moments by listening to people with nothing to say and who say it loudly.
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Passing Gas: Aggressive P.C. Tactics Hurt Open Discussions

October 30, 2006 by

"I am not committed to any of the political movements which I find full of fanaticism and injustice, but in the face of each human being, I act democratically and humanly," Ana
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Passing Gas: Isla Vista Brothel to Curb Rapists

October 20, 2006 by

In front of the Women's Center this past week, "I Want a Truce" campaigners used aggressive tabling, free T-shirts, non-binding pledges and, most importantly, smiles to squelch the inner rapist of cou...
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Conspiracy Proves Difficult to Join

October 16, 2006 by

Dear International League of Jewish Conspirators,
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Passing Gas: Introductory Classes Make Me Puke

October 9, 2006 by

This school incorporates thousands of California's top high school and transfer students every year, and then cripples the drive and motivation that made them top students by forcing them to traverse ...
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Stop Bigotry, Hate Frosh

October 2, 2006 by

People are nasty, conniving, manipulative creatures that are more than willing to torment one another for a minimal benefit. Although feats of kindness can occur, most are just terribly miscalculated ...
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Accept This and Shove It!

September 28, 2006 by

Dear Board of Admissions, In an effort to make my "personal statement" more personal than just another mundane, self-praising recitation of high school accomplishments and false aspirations, I have c...
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Summer School Student Copes With Divorce From Vacation

June 28, 2006 by

In many ways, expecting students to endure classes in the summer, or asking a child to remain happy after a painful divorce, is tantamount to forcing a crack addict to quit crack cold turkey.
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Worthless Writers Make Mess All Over Opinion Page

May 23, 2006 by

Today I brazenly post my indictments of the Daily Nexus Opinion section on its very pages, just as Martin Luther posted the 95 Theses on the doors of the oppressive institution of his day, the Catholi...
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