Curtis Brainard

May 8, 2002

Spider-Man: The Itsy-Bitsy Blockbuster

By Curtis Brainard

The clash of the titans (a.k.a. multi-million-dollar blockbusters) hit theaters this month, and so far it's a spider whipping a scorpion's ass.

April 24, 2002

Campfire Caring

By Curtis Brainard

It's 6:30 a.m. I'm asleep ... or at least I was asleep. Now there's a 13-year-old camper kneeling beside my bunk, trying to glue my head to the pillow by smearing extra-hold hair gel all over one side of my face. It's th...

April 4, 2002

Panic Room: Can’t Get Into It

By Curtis Brainard

"Panic Room," billed as commentary on the trappings of paranoia in the late 20th century and designed to have the audience looking over their shoulders on the way home, disintegrates into a run-of-the-mill, weak-on-plot,...

April 1, 2002

Argument between homeless and IVRPD resolves to remain unresolved

By Curtis Brainard

After two months of ugly haggling, the Isla Vista Recreation and Parks District and local homeless advocates reached an agreement to go on arguing forever. The plan resolves everything by resolving absolutely nothing.

February 26, 2002

Sweet Victory on a Salt Lake for the ’02 Olympics

By Curtis Brainard

"Here we are - the center of the world."

February 14, 2002

Peace, hunh, What Is It Good For?

By Curtis Brainard

Over 1,300 UCSB Students Have Dedicated Two Years or More of Service to a Third World Country Through the Peace Corps, In Excahnge for Resume Material, Hands On Work and Experience Educational Direction.

January 17, 2002

Orange County: A-peel

By Curtis Brainard

I should have known that something was wrong when I had trouble enticing a friend to see "Orange County," despite the lure of a free ticket.

November 5, 2001

SB Residents Visit Vietnam War Memorial

By Curtis Brainard

A small, collapsible replica of the Vietnam Memorial in Washington, D.C. will be leaving Chase Palm Park today after a six-day stop that drew hundreds of visitors to look at the 58,219 engraved names.

October 15, 2001

Suspicious Powder Causes Santa Maria Anthrax Scare

By Curtis Brainard

County Fire and Hazardous Materials personnel and Public Health officials responded to a potential anthrax scare in Santa Maria and Orcutt on Monday afternoon.

September 26, 2001

Give Me Credit; I’m a Bouncy Kind of Guy

By Curtis Brainard

I committed my first act of fraud when I was but a lad of 13. I fancied myself the biggest Billy Idol fan on the West Coast and signed an agreement with Columbia Records for 11 free CDs.