Dude, Where’s My Bird?
Earlier this morning, IVPD was informed of a robbery that occurred on the 67 block of Sabado Tarde Road. According to third-year pre-law student Garrett Jackson, he parked his Bird in his driveway lat...
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Rodney Raccoon To Run for A.S. President, A.S. Hopefuls Are Shook
It’s time raccoons get the representation they deserve.
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My Mom Reacts To My Articles
This is supposed to be a joke, right? Please tell me this is a joke.
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How to Celebrate Not Turning 21: A Guide to Surviving Your 2 Lamest Birthdays
If you’re between the ages of 19 and 20, the excitement of your special day has long faded.
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Ole the Mascot Replaced By Nachos, Freebirds Rejoices
“Worry not, folks. Our new mascot is a plate of Freebirds Nachos.”
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Trouble Is Afoot: Raccoon Theft Leaves DP Residents Barefoot and Unhappy
This isn’t the first time a raccoon has done something like this.
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Featured Comic
Please Don’t Try to Bike Over the Hump Pls
Labyrinth: Grades Search
Aries
March 21 - April 19
Choked by their cap tassel during a graduation photoshoot
Taurus
April 20 - May 20
Accidentally daps the Chancellor up as they receive their diploma
Gemini
May 21 - June 20
Decided to skip commencement to go day drink on Del Playa
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
Ugly crying so hard they drown out "Pomp and Circumstance"
Leo
July 23 - August 22
Posing on stage like there's a model scout in the audience (there was)
Virgo
August 23 - September 22
Can't make it up the steps due to the sheer amount of cords, stoles, and leis
Libra
September 23 - October 22
Couldn't decide on a grad dress so they showed up in pajamas under their gown
Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
Showed up to commencement high and suffering from horrendous munchies
Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
Somehow juggling the 15 ceremonies required for their triple major
Capricorn
December 22 - January 19
Graduated with a 5 year plan, chronic anxiety, and a great internship
Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
Reading Kafka in the audience in hopes of an honorary English degree
Pisces
February 19 - March 20
had their graduation photos taken in the lagoon to be different
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