Weather

Spike the Cranberry Sauce

November 23, 2004 by

Leave town. Now. Because everyone is. Everyone. Even my neighbor's hamster, seriously. I'm not leaving, mind you. DP on Thanksgiving weekend is as big, if not bigger, than Halloween, but with a smalle...
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Paper Bites Dog

November 22, 2004 by

Every time the Nexus makes a mistake, the 'human kills a puppy.
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Hard Work Pays Off

November 19, 2004 by

Poor A.S. was once again unable to coax more money out of the student body. But don
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Account Ability

November 18, 2004 by

The BA/RC office seems like a pretty competent place, except when it comes to money. They tell me I owe the university a few hundred dollars despite the fact that it owes me a few thousand dollars.
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The Speed of Write

November 17, 2004 by

whine whine whine. I have to write a paper about dead people, and I'd rather not. Not that I'd like to write about living people, either, mind you.
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Naughty, Naughty…

November 16, 2004 by

If you didn
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But the Benefit Package!

November 15, 2004 by

Popular Science recently ranked anal wart researcher as the worst job in science. This ignores all non-scientific jobs, such as reporter or "provost."
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Vote YES YES YES!

November 12, 2004 by

A.S. wants to (not) have your babies. They've been distributing A.S. Initiative propaganda fliers with condoms attached. The connection between giving A.S. more money and having sex is not immediately...
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Suck It for Safety, I.V.

November 10, 2004 by

Aha, so the good citizens of I.V. have parried the Foot Patrol's "fall offensive" with a clever foil, the "fall defensive." I.V. is probably one of the few communities where, if you walk down the stre...
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You’ve Got Nothing to Lose

November 9, 2004 by

If you're involved in fund raising for an organization, A.S. is prepared to help you fuck it all up. Finance Board - which is currently broke - will hold a workshop tomorrow to teach you how to "creat...
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Styrofoam Sucks

November 5, 2004 by

The weathermom sent me a care package, which was nice of course, but the goodies were buried in pieces of my worst enemy: Styrofoam. Nothing sends a shiver up my spine more than Styrofoam.
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There Goes the Sun

November 4, 2004 by

I hate it when Daylight Savings Time ends and the sun starts setting right after I wake up. If I'm going to ever see the sun, I need to either wake up earlier or change the angle of the sun relative t...
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Jihad Begins At Home

November 3, 2004 by

We appear to have elected George W. Bush. I guess this means Americans are opposed to terrorism.
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Battleground States

November 2, 2004 by

So the Nexus endorsed John Kerry for president, but I personally disagree. If there's one thing that bugs a weather forecaster, it's unpredictable flip-flopping.
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Partied Like It’s 1999

November 1, 2004 by

Can you believe we're supposed to put together a paper on Halloween night? Fuck that. Fortunately, we thought ahead and made this issue a week ago.
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