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I Imagine Turning Parasitic Slugs Loose on Their Bureaucratic Equivalents

The bucket of slimy, hungry leeches I dumped on President Healton's duct-taped lap is stinking up her ritzy Washington D.C. office.
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Letter Should Not Have Generalized Arabs

Justin's chosen title for his manifesto against the Arab and Muslim world is reminiscent of a tabloid newspaper in its blatant disregard of logic and what is just.
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A.S. It Is: It’s What You Do Outside the Classroom that Matters

There are hundreds of things to do while at UCSB and most of them aren't on Del Playa
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Slithering Out of Stoplights for Old Town Goleta

The road to hell is paved with good intentions, but the road to UCSB is paved with committees. It's a wonder it's paved at all, and who knows if it'll ever get to Old Town Goleta.
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Support Israel; ‘The Muslims Are Out To Destroy our World’

Let's support the Israelis. They are a democracy in a sea of dictators. Arafat is a criminal that this country should replace with some less radical Palestinian leader.
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UCSB’s Lecturers Are Hardly Part-time, Disposable Lackeys

I had trouble with the headline for this article, especially with the word "part-time."
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A No Vote on H is Good For Goleta

A city of Goleta is a good idea, except that the city of Goleta appearing on today's ballot doesn't include most of Goleta Valley and will probably fail financially.
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Down 8-6 But Up 3-0

I went out last night to watch a few members of the weatherposse play intramural soccer. Unfortunately, two players got lost in the fog trying to get there and another fell down one of the holes in th...
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Red Tape: National Error in Space Administration Goes for Broke

If you blinked, you may have missed it. On Oct. 23rd at 7:26 p.m. Pacific Standard Time, NASA's newest Mars probe, Odyssey, slipped safely into orbit around the red planet with little fanfare. Scienti...
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Nominal Charge for Water

The weathermates and I decided to engage in a little sport at the bowling alley this weekend.
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My Home Is My Sanctuary, Not Your Barf Bowl

Last winter, eight friends and I signed a lease for a 6600 block oceanside house on DP. We knew living on the 6600 block was going to be quite different but we had no idea exactly how it was going to ...
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Coulter’s Terrorism Speech Was Only a Liberal-Bashing MarathonConor

The title of the lecture was "The Terrorists and Their Left-Wing Sympathizers." Terrorism was clearly a side note because it was bash-the-liberals night at UCSB.
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‘American Hero’ Should Rethink Her Medieval Opinions

Wow. That was all that I could say when I read the article on Ann Coulter. Tell me again how she is an "American Hero"?
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Exploring the Method to bin Laden’s Madness

When investigating criminals, the main thing you look at is the motive behind their crimes. If we are to believe that Osama bin Laden was behind the Sept. 11 attacks, then an examination of his motive...
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Beautiful Trailers on the Bike Path

Today I took a midterm while ignoring giant purple flashing runway lights in my peripheral vision.
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