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What’s on Your Television?

April 4, 2003 by Drew Atkins

My addiction to war coverage runs deep. After a long day of backbreaking academic work, it's such a soothing release to turn on my television and let the moments of intense violence, followed by hours...
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Bike Wreck – Er, I Mean Rack.

April 4, 2003 by

The bicycle gods have conspired with the recent gale-force breezes to create a new deathtrap on campus: the Arts Building bike rack.
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Blanket Statements Leave You In the Cold

April 4, 2003 by Alice El-Bizri

I believe that Todd Roberson's argument about "lackluster" liberals (Daily Nexus, "A Lesson for the Liberals," April 3, 2003) is as unfair as he claims "anti-war protestors' favorite arguments" are.
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Fedayeen Fight for Freedom, Not Hussein

April 4, 2003 by Edward M. Gorenshteyn

This resistance is the valiant attempt of a weak country to defend itself from the unprovoked invasion of an overwhelming force. It is inaccurate to claim that Iraq poses any kind of threat to the Uni...
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Navy-Employed Dolphins Don’t Have It as Bad as You Think

April 4, 2003 by Jeffery Hansen

In his opinion article "Navy Seals and Dolphins" (Daily Nexus, March 31, 2003), opinion editor Steven Ruszczycky both states explicitly and implies that the Navy trained dolphins come into physical co...
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Headphones Are Against the Law If You’re Riding a Bike

April 4, 2003 by Michael Porzucki

After standing in the treacherous reader line at Grafikart the other day, I stepped on my bike, opened my backpack and threw on my headphones. As I attempted to bike across the street, an I.V. Foot Pa...
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A Lesson for the Liberals

April 3, 2003 by Todd Roberson

The debate that has taken place in America over the legitimacy of the war in Iraq has exemplified liberals' lackluster attempts to understand conservative beliefs. Liberal anti-war protesters have dem...
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I Can’t Look

April 3, 2003 by

Time flies- except when you're in lecture. Then it lurches like a maimed chicken. Every day when I walk into class, I see how long I can avoid looking at the weatherwatch. I usually get through 15 or ...
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Dinner Skirmish: War Widens the Gap Between Young and Old

April 3, 2003 by Drew Mackie

Going Home earned me something aside from getting my clothes washed and my meals cooked for free: a new dimension of our nation's present international entanglement.
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Battling for Their Lives

April 2, 2003 by Joey Tartakovsky

So far, the most alarming development is that of Saddam's paramilitary forces. More and more, it seems that these individuals - not tanks or contingents of uniformed soldiers - will determine the cour...
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Thump, Thump

April 2, 2003 by

There is a weatherpet this year. It happens to be a hamster. The weathercavemates enjoy tormenting the weatherpet. They like to turn its cage around and watch it get confused.
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Pardon Me, but What Wind Through Yonder Orifice Breaks?

April 2, 2003 by Beth Van Dyke

It is the female equivalent to limp dick. People refuse to discuss it. But being the disgustingly frank love kitten I am, I wanted the truth to be told. Can't hold my cunt trumpet down.
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The Peasent’s Voice: Small Problems Can Get Big if You Don’t Deal With Them Early

April 1, 2003 by Olaf Fjordson Viking Exchange Student

"What light through yonder closet breaks?" quoth I Sunday morning last, upon my re-arrival at the dormitoria after the break of the Spring Festival.
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The Peasent’s Voice: Damned if You Are, Damned if You Aren’t: Witches Found in Dorms

April 1, 2003 by Wynona Rooter Freshman

This may shock and awe all of you, but with the Good Lord's help I hope that you all might suspend your disbelief at this most wretched news I here reveal.
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The Spring Goddess Returns

April 1, 2003 by Corinth of Anthony apprentice apothecary

'Tis the wonderful time of Spring once again. Flowers bloom, the days lengthen and the maids doth begin the annual shedding of their winter layers.
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