Opinion
After standing in the treacherous reader line at Grafikart the other day, I stepped on my bike, opened my backpack and threw on my headphones. As I attempted to bike across the street, an I.V. Foot Pa...
read more
The debate that has taken place in America over the legitimacy of the war in Iraq has exemplified liberals' lackluster attempts to understand conservative beliefs. Liberal anti-war protesters have dem...
read more
Time flies- except when you're in lecture. Then it lurches like a maimed chicken. Every day when I walk into class, I see how long I can avoid looking at the weatherwatch. I usually get through 15 or ...
read more
Going Home earned me something aside from getting my clothes washed and my meals cooked for free: a new dimension of our nation's present international entanglement.
read more
So far, the most alarming development is that of Saddam's paramilitary forces. More and more, it seems that these individuals - not tanks or contingents of uniformed soldiers - will determine the cour...
read more
There is a weatherpet this year. It happens to be a hamster. The weathercavemates enjoy tormenting the weatherpet. They like to turn its cage around and watch it get confused.
read more
It is the female equivalent to limp dick. People refuse to discuss it. But being the disgustingly frank love kitten I am, I wanted the truth to be told. Can't hold my cunt trumpet down.
read more
"What light through yonder closet breaks?" quoth I Sunday morning last, upon my re-arrival at the dormitoria after the break of the Spring Festival.
read more
This may shock and awe all of you, but with the Good Lord's help I hope that you all might suspend your disbelief at this most wretched news I here reveal.
read more
'Tis the wonderful time of Spring once again. Flowers bloom, the days lengthen and the maids doth begin the annual shedding of their winter layers.
read more
Dear Nostradamus, I am a lesbian and have come out to all my friends here at UCSB. Everyone seems pretty accepting, which has been great. I want to come out to my parents, but I'm afraid of how they w...
read more
Down in San Diego, there's a water park like no other. It's not Sea World, a place where killer whales playfully spray children, walruses cavort on stage and kiddies of all ages can pet anything from ...
read more
I have returned from Spring Break with pleasant (if hazy) memories and no money. My cupboards are empty, my classes are starting, rent is due and now it's time to make the all important decision:
read more
To escape the high-decibel pounding of the war drums, I recently picked up one of my favorite classics, only to find a wealth of perspective on our current international climate and the men driving it...
read more
Ends on ‘good terms’ but is blocked on Instagram
Slow fade
Ghosting them on a random Monday
“It’s not you, it’s me”
Drunk Uber “we need to talk” voice memo
Presents a notes app pros and cons list
Asks to still be friends
Drops their stuff off, never speaks to them again
Texts “this isn’t working” then posts from another country
“It’s not me, it’s you”
Tells them they need to focus on Econ 10A
Delivers a hand-written letter to their mom
