When you’re driving in your car and you get into an accident, a variety of advanced safety systems kick in to stop you safely. The car’s steel roll cage preserves the integrity of the passenger cabin. Airbags deploy in billionths of a second to keep you from slamming into your steering wheel. Your seatbelt prevents you from flying forward through the windshield.

You know what stops you when you crash on your bike?

The asphalt.

Hang up and ride you bastards.

Friday’s forecast: Wait, my phone’s ringing…