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Venture to Speculate in the Dark

February 20, 2004 by

Dean is gone without winning a single state. At least he proved he could name 16 of them in 19 seconds. But that on-stage freak-out was bad strategy - everyone knows you wait to act like a maniac unti...
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UCSB Won’t Benefit From Proposition 55

February 20, 2004 by Nicholas Romero

It seems very ironic that our state flag has "California Republic" written on it. Out of all the states in the union, ours appears to be the least republican. Though Article IV, Section IV of the Unit...
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Knock: Don’t Waste a Vote on a Candidate With No Love

February 20, 2004 by Drew Atkins

They don't care about you, those candidates for 3rd District supervisor. They just want your vote, and then you'll be thrown out like last night's beer bottles. Don't settle for such a shallow relatio...
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How To Get Laid at UCSB: Some Advice From a Freshman

February 20, 2004 by Anthony Manganaro

I'm a little, nervous shit, so at my first UCSB party I walked up to this gigantic senior carrying a bottle of vodka and asked him, "So, how do you get a girl around here?" He didn't respond with comp...
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Wintry Hot Line

February 20, 2004 by

Man, these dreary winter days of rain drag the quarter on and on and on. Fuck that. Certainly the profes sors understand th at rain is a totally valid reason for an abs ence or three. Rainy days are m...
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I Shot a Man in Florida

February 19, 2004 by

Lots of times I get ideas for this box just by flipping through the newspaper. Truth is stranger than fiction, I always say, and so much more powerful.
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A Legal Right to Marriage

February 19, 2004 by Christopher Cook

A Massachusetts state representative recently stated that allowing gays to marry would violate natural law. Has anyone realized that divorce is also not part of the natural law of marriage?
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Egotistical Conspiracy Theorists on Skateboards

February 19, 2004 by Mark Signa

Why me? This actually is probably the most asked question of any police officer anywhere. Why did I get the speeding ticket and not everyone else who was speeding too? Why'd you stop me when there are...
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Students’ Party Is Government By and For the Students

February 19, 2004 by Jared Renfro

Move off the rails, there's a train coming through. Students' Party has been formed through the collaborative efforts of members of the S.A.C. and S.U.N. parties.
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Hand Cream and the Death of Rugged Masculinity

February 19, 2004 by Meghan Palma

With the dawn of a new millennium came the rise of the metrosexual - a distinctly cultured breed of straight men whose taste in art, fashion, personal grooming and interior design mirrors that of his ...
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Staples Cathedral

February 18, 2004 by

Sorry, don't have much time to write today. I'm going to the Lakers game and I'm about to miss my bus.
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Good Morning, Sunshine

February 18, 2004 by Kate Rice

Some people prefer the kind of sex where you barely move and your eyes are shut so tightly that a crowbar couldn't pry them open. Others still would rather have sex only in the pitch dark under the co...
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Fighting Off Landlords, Bill Collectors

February 18, 2004 by Ron Perry Robin Unander Steve Rice

"Ask the Lawyer" will be a recurring column presented by Associated Students Legal Resource Center attorneys Ron Perry, Robin Unander and Steve Rice. The aim is to present legal information that stude...
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Hell on Earth

February 17, 2004 by

People are saying San Francisco's mayor might be throwing away his political future with his bold stance in favor of gay marriage. Maybe so.
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Innocence Dies on Death Row

February 17, 2004 by Neil Visalvanich

Last time I checked, there was a provision in the U.S. Constitution called the Eighth Amendment that holds that "cruel and unusual punishment" shall not be inflicted upon the citizens of the United St...
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