People rejoice – the grocery workers will soon return. Hooray! There’s a party in the streets! Let’s hold a fucking parade. Get Mayor Quimby up there to declare a new holiday in their honor – “Replace Your Employees with People Off the Street Day.”

I’m going to miss the scabs, bless their high school hearts. I’ll especially miss those late nights when no managers were present and a friendly thumbs-up was acceptable currency for a 12-pack.

Monday’s forecast: Order is restored as people resume shopping at Albertson’s and stealing at Trader Joe’s.