News

April 3, 2003

County Project Smooths Way For Pedestrians

By Daniel Haier

everal hundred feet of Isla Vista sidewalks have recently been repaired to comply with Americans with Disabilities Act specifications and Santa Barbara County Public Works Dept. drainage and safety guidelines.

April 3, 2003

FT To Host Master Plan Meeting on Local Housing

By Drew Mackie

The Isla Vista Project Area Committee will be meeting tonight at 6:30 p.m. in the Linda Vista room at Francisco Torres to begin discussion of the PAC interim draft, the most up-to-date version of the plan to redevelop I....

April 3, 2003

Leg Council Reviews Plans for I.V.

By Travis Hunter

The council heard a presentation from Jamie Goldstein, planning project manager for I.V., that outlined many of the goals and potential problems facing the redevelopment plan. A.S. holds one of 13 voting positions on the...

April 2, 2003

Art Studio Grad Student Dies

By Drew Atkins

UCSB graduate student Chris August passed away Sunday at 12:23 a.m. in the Santa Barbara area. He was in his early forties. The Santa Barbara County Coroner's Office could not be contacted for information regarding the c...

April 2, 2003

State Triumphs in Coastal Oil Dispute

By Kristina Ackermann

Any oil companies looking to develop leases off the coast of California will have to get by the state government first, as the federal government has backed off from its attempt to control all offshore drilling.

April 2, 2003

Elderly Man Kills Wife, Calls 911

By Daniel Haier

Sheriff's deputies arrested an elderly Lompoc man Tuesday morning on suspicion of murdering his wife. Officers responded to the home of Eugene Carl Morgan, 77, after dispatch received information from a male caller who s...

April 2, 2003

Mediator Urges New Contract for C.U.E., UC

By Stephanie Tavares

Almost two years of contract negotiations between the University of California and its clerical workers may finally come to an end in the coming weeks.

April 2, 2003

Do You Want Fries With That?

By system

April 1, 2003

Regents Indulge GPAs for a Price

By Lady Tiye of Baldwinshire Staff Scribe

As its coffers dwindle, the University of California is offering its academic wastrels a chance to repent and earn forgiveness through donations to the Mother University.

April 1, 2003

Right Makes Might?

By Sir Chug-A-Lug Staff Writer

Republican armies took control of key northwestern trade routes and Islavistingham ale-smuggling corridors Monday, marking the latest pitched battle in a series of armed clashes between political ideologies within the UC...

April 1, 2003

UC Merced May Evict Wee Folkes

By Sir Jason the Smart Scribe

The proposed University of California, Merced should eventually have one of the best animal husbandry programs from here to Gaul, but the region's faerie shrimp, gnomes, nymphs, sprites, pixies and other wee folke may no...

April 1, 2003

Vampire Convention Brings A Blood-Letting Good Time

By Jen Siverts Master Scribe

TRANSYLVANIA, Romania (AP) -- The centennial International Blood Suckers Union (IBSU) vampire convention was held this past weekend to give the undead from all over Europe the chance to congregate and discuss issues of r...

April 1, 2003

Mead Fortifies A.S. Resolution

By William the Loon Staff Scribe

A.S. representatives officially declared their support for Scotland during a towne hall meeting last night, resulting in the first meeting marked by peace and quiet - the sort of peace and quiet that follows mass executi...

April 1, 2003

Beasts Devour Publicity

By Lady Sexburgae of the House of Healy

They have returned. After much worry and bad humours of the bile, the Santa Barbara Zoological Garden staff welcomed back their Grendels with great pomp and celebration and reopened the Grendel exhibit to the public Mond...

April 1, 2003

Druids Plan Monolithic Memorial

By Maiden Christina of Acrelaide Staff Scribe

The Islavistingham Recreation and Park Druids met Monday night to approve and finalize the design for the proposed Stonehenge Park.The park was proposed last May as a monument to soldiers who lost their lives in the Crus...