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Weekly Horoscopes

by @dailynexopinion

The signs during an AI apocalypse

Aries

March 21 - April 19

Hire an AI bot to become their personal assistant

Taurus

April 20 - May 20

Stash all their books in a locked safe

Gemini

May 21 - June 20

Never write their own email again

Cancer

June 21 - July 22

Buy out all the toilet paper from target

Leo

July 23 - August 22

Delete all their negative text messages about AI

Virgo

August 23 - September 22

Side with their Snapchat AI bot

Libra

September 23 - October 22

Start posting ads for an AI significant other

Scorpio

October 23 - November 21

Move to the middle of nowhere

Sagittarius

November 22 - December 21

Smash all computers in close proximity

Capricorn

December 22 - January 19

Try to befriend AI bots

Aquarius

January 20 - February 18

Complete purge from technology

Pisces

February 19 - March 20

Start calling all of their loved ones

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