Brendan Buhler

January 10, 2002

Parking Lots and People Aren’t Good Sex Aids for Plovers

By Brendan Buhler

The county planners, bright and well-meaning chaps all, are kicking around a plan to enhance the natural beauty of Sands Beach with a big, fat parking lot. Just like at Goleta Beach.

November 30, 2001

Grad Students Bite Back at Elections

By Brendan Buhler

Fed up with the way mandatory student fees are dumped on them, grad students are threatening to make this year's campuswide elections worthless.

November 29, 2001

A Living Wage for the Upper-Middle Class

By Brendan Buhler

It's possible to get the Santa Barbara City Council to care about the cost of living for city employees, but only if said employees are making about $190,000 per year.

November 15, 2001

Don’t Take the Toothless Hamp-ster Seriously

By Brendan Buhler

Q: How much wood would Associated Students President Brian Hampton chuck if Associated Students President Brian Hampton could chuck wood?

November 7, 2001

Slithering Out of Stoplights for Old Town Goleta

By Brendan Buhler

The road to hell is paved with good intentions, but the road to UCSB is paved with committees. It's a wonder it's paved at all, and who knows if it'll ever get to Old Town Goleta.

November 1, 2001

Conservative Medusa Wears a Miniskirt, Still a Moron

By Brendan Buhler

Not all conservatives may be bigoted harpies, but all bigoted harpies are conservative - at least all bigoted harpies who come to speak at UCSB for a $5,000 fee for an hour or two.

October 25, 2001

When the S.M.U.R.F.s Fight UCSB, Bet on Asphalt

By Brendan Buhler

In a development that should surprise no one, UCSB's administrators, professors and staffers can't agree where to park it or how to pay for it.

October 18, 2001

With Liberty and Justice for Buttsylvania and Leggies

By Brendan Buhler

My fifth-grade class was a lot more competent than A.S. Legislative Council. We got the garbage out of the way early and quickly, so we could move onto the class' important business: eating paste and changing France's na...

October 12, 2001

10 Clowns Slither Onstage at Goleta Circus

By Brendan Buhler

Ten people are running for five city council seats in a non-existent city that will probably go broke.

October 4, 2001

I.V.’s Snakepit of Redevelopment Committees

By Brendan Buhler

For the last 11 years, various crusaders, crooks and cranks on the I.V. Redevelopment Agency (RDA) have been working on a plan for Isla Vista.

May 14, 2001

Drama Major Collapses Onstage

By Brendan Buhler

Greg D'Amico, a 20-year-old dramatic art major, lost consciousness and died on stage at 9:30 p.m. on May 10 while performing at the Studio Theater in Snidecor Hall.

May 2, 2001

Campus Elections Committee Receives Voting Process Complaints

By Brendan Buhler, Sarah Healy

Thursday's campuswide election results, which included the passage of the Student Resource Building Fee Initiative by nine votes and the failure of the Recreational Sports Fee Initiative, have since met opposition from t...

April 26, 2001

Pimping and Pandering in Sports Media

By Brendan Buhler

Only the scars of last weekend are left. Or rather, forming. Forming on my right middle finger and on my sunburned, blistering left arm.I'm not surprised.

April 26, 2001

Gauchoholics Load Up on Victories; Initiatives Split

By Brendan Buhler

The Gauchoholics can be content that 18 out of their 19 candidates won, including presidential candidate Brian Hampton and internal vice presidential candidate Shaina Walter.

April 20, 2001

Bush Deserves to Bathe in His Own Toxic Rain

By Brendan Buhler

George W. Bush is far too committed to Global Warming to just sit back and let it happen. He's willing to produce as much hot air as it takes. His latest emission of noxious gas was his claim that he's an environmentalis...

April 12, 2001

Hello, Jesus My Old Friend …

By Brendan Buhler

Perhaps you've heard of the Crusades. The Crusades were a medieval quest to bring the glory of God back to the holiest of cities, establish His kingdom on Earth and to display His infinite mercy by hacking, slashing, rob...