UC Santa Barbara has a wide-reaching online presence, able to churn out short “comedic” videos that remind people we have a library. It also reminds the student population that our faculty in char...
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Walking through the Arbor is a fate worse than death most days. Those petition-wielding beggars can smell a vulnerable person like a shark smells blood. Tablers will force you into a conversation, eve...
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So the end of the year is quickly approaching and leases need to be reviewed, but you have one critical problem: you want to live with your bestie instead of your roommate! Unfortunately, your roomie ...
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All students would be given the opportunity to print two false flesh flutes for the price of one.
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Chancellor Henry T. Yang announces the reroute of the Tour de France to the UC Santa Barbara bike lanes and enrolls each student as a racer.
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Honestly, it’s just a really bad financial decision on your part; she would’ve been so popular.
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“It’s so nice tah see all the Canadian flags aboot tahday, eh?” said Maple Snowbeaver, the Canadian exchange student in question.
April 20: Weed Day.
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Ends on ‘good terms’ but is blocked on Instagram
Slow fade
Ghosting them on a random Monday
“It’s not you, it’s me”
Drunk Uber “we need to talk” voice memo
Presents a notes app pros and cons list
Asks to still be friends
Drops their stuff off, never speaks to them again
Texts “this isn’t working” then posts from another country
“It’s not me, it’s you”
Tells them they need to focus on Econ 10A
Delivers a hand-written letter to their mom
