Faith Talamantez / The Daily Nexus

It’s Halloween time, and you know what that means. Month-long celebrations that will make you ask, “Wait, do I need a costume already?” in September. A time for sexy bunnies, cowgirls and my all-time favorite Halloween costume: the sexy nun. Personally, I plan to be in a food-induced coma resulting from the bag of Halloween candy that I will buy for the real children of Isla Vista (myself).

With Halloween gloom in the air (or maybe that’s just my seasonal depression beginning again), what better way to fight off the spooky demons like my Week 3 midterm than by dressing up. 

Storkie, not wanting to be left out of the fun, decided this would be the perfect Halloween to debut his new costume: the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Tired of being negatively compared to more ambitious architecture, like the Colosseum, the Taj Mahal or basically any other building that’s not just a tall box, Storkie vowed to finally impress the students of UC Santa Barbara. 

Storkie was dressed to the nines, all set to receive several Halloween party invitations that he would politely decline due to most parties being gatekept by human-sized doors. Unfortunately, poor old Storkie forgot that he suffers from inner ear infections which makes him lose his balance. It was just as he started to lean that he lost balance and promptly fell to the ground. 

During these trying times, I will be abandoning my beef with Storkie over my unfulfilled quest to climb Storke tower and his constant attempts to thwart me and helping restore Storkie to his former stature. I ask that you all, in the name of school spirit, join me this Halloween in helping to push Storkie back up. Let’s do something for the one man at UCSB that has never once lied about his height. With our collective effort, it shouldn’t be too hard — he’s been doing a lot of cardio recently (thanks for noticing, by the way). 

Storkie, you are the pillar of our community. Rest assured, we will restore you to your former height, even if it takes us all night and several drinks.

Jane Error will be turning 20 this Halloween. Five more years and she can finally rent a car (legally!)