Max Myszkowski / Daily Nexus

Tired of watching lectures all alone?  Now you don’t have to.

The new updates that have been made to GauchoSpace are just a tease for what the future holds. UCSB recently announced that they will be erecting two new features to GauchoSpace, and they won’t make you wait too long for it.  

Introducing GauchoSpace Live and GauchoSpace Premium. These stimulating websites will give you access to hundreds of raw, uncut, never-before-seen lectures from your favorite professors, all for your viewing pleasure. If this never-ending quarantine has been making you feel down, this exciting news will get you up.

With GauchoSpace Live, students can choose from our Top 20 Sounds — whether it be sniffling, coughing, crying or groaning — to play while they watch lectures, take tests or — you guessed it — jerk off, to give them a non-virtual class experience that makes them feel as if they’re really on campus. If you’re having a hard time completing homework and tests without this white noise, GauchoSpace Live is the perfect website to get you to finish.

GauchoSpace Premium allows students to view all kinds of lectures: professional from our veteran professors, amateur from our new professors and all types of teaching styles in between. Of course, this website isn’t for everyone. We realize that not all students enjoy lectures as much as others, so GauchoSpace Premium is available for a small, but completely reasonable, fee of $9.99 a month.  Students can get unlimited access to this special content that will leave them wanting more.

So, if you like GauchoSpace, you’ll love GauchoSpace Live and GauchoSpace Premium.

GauchoSpace Live and GauchoSpace Premium are in no way, shape or form based on PornHub Live and PornHub Premium. Students who suggest this will be expelled.

Baja Blässt can’t wait to probe these titillating new features.