UCSB’s annual week of festivities appears to merely be a fun introduction to campus life, but there is darkness that lies beneath the exterior. With competing clubs vying so hard to get freshmen’s attention, Week of Welcome becomes a Week of War, and war tends to get messy. Here’s a list of the most memorable events in UCSB history that failed to impress.

Llamas & Lupus (2013)

Student Health held an information session during which they discussed the signs, symptoms and treatment of lupus. In order to get students through the door, the clinic promised participants the chance to have a close encounter with a domesticated llama. The three-hour event attracted a total of 17 students. Some attributed its unpopularity to the organization’s accidental use of an alpaca, while others said they just didn’t care about South American mammals.

Seaside Nature Hike (1988)

U Can Study Birds was an on-campus club dedicated to helping students observe and understand their beautiful surroundings. Disaster struck during their “Welcome Back Seaside Nature Hike” when the participants were attacked by a flock of rabid seagulls. The group’s reputation suffered, and they eventually disbanded in 1990.

Chips for Lips (2005)

One of UCSB’s most notorious fraternities, Beta Rho Omega Sigma, held a controversial event in which they gave out free nachos in exchange for kisses. In response to the spread of mono and many sexual harassment claims, the fraternity was disbanded, and a free clinic was put in the place of their chapter house.

Moonlight Milk (2009)

Before we had Life of the Party and After Dark, we had Good Gauchos: an extremely prohibitionist student group. At this event, attendees were promised a cool glass of milk that they could enjoy under the full moon. Despite the bland premise of the function, the event was actually most affected by PETA activists protesting the event for its glorification of unpaid animal labor.

Adventures in Narnia (2016)

In order to celebrate its first Week of Welcome, the UCSB library decided to decorate the new addition as some of the spectacular scenes in C.S. Lewis’s literary classic, The Chronicles of Narnia. Unfortunately all the ice and snow melted ruining books, carpets and pretty much everything else. The library is estimated to be closed for repairs until the spring of 2017.

Emily Anne Williams is a sophomore studying linguistics who has never successfully obtained a free succulent during Week of Welcome, despite always going to that event.