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Martha’s Baked Honey Mustard Plover

March 4, 2005 by

Uh oh. Martha is back on the streets again, free to inflict her domestically perfect lifestyle and recipes upon us all.
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Cyber Castaways

March 3, 2005 by

I recently read some poll results - either that or I'm making it up - that said most Americans, if they could take one thing with them to a desert island, would bring the Internet.
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Lions and Tigers and Ligers, Oh My

March 2, 2005 by

A "liger" - the combination of a lion and tiger - is a real thing and is, according to the director of conservation at the Minnesota Zoo, "the production of freaks by people who have freaky minds."
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Whiter Shade of Lame

March 1, 2005 by

Today I saw a commercial advertising a revolutionary(!) teeth-whitening product that can make your teeth
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Weather for Dummies

February 28, 2005 by

I discovered recently that the "... for Dummies" books are now available in VHS and DVD. Apparently, "Dummies" books are too smart for some people; they need the movie version instead.
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A Party Is Due

February 25, 2005 by

On this day in history: Lieutenant Governor Hamilton engages to deliver up to Col. Clarke, Fort Sackville as it is at present with all the stores, ammunition, & provision &c. &c...
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Like Vintage Wine

February 24, 2005 by

Today I was in a lecture given by some guy, and these 80-year-old ladies next to me thought the guy was named "Richard Hickey."
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Research and Search and Research

February 23, 2005 by

Damn those bastards who check out every book in the library right before the big paper is due.
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The Lincoln Bedroom

February 22, 2005 by

I hope everyone had a happy Presidents' Day. I celebrated my day off in honor of Calvin Coolidge, who slept a mandatory 11 hours per day.
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The Sky Is Falling

February 18, 2005 by

The deluge has begun! Repent, sinners, repent!
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In Bold Fashion

February 17, 2005 by

I have the perfect solution for those people who have a problem deciding what to wear: Just don't do laundry. Like, ever.
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Message From the Stars

February 16, 2005 by

You may have noticed that yesterday's paper omitted a horoscope for Pisces. Sorry, some of the stars were tired and needed a day off.
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Not In Kansas Anymore

February 15, 2005 by

And here I thought I.V. was crowded. Authorities who were rescuing people from a potentially fatal gas leak in a duplex last night found that there were 25 people living inside
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I Hate Valentine’s Day, so Date Me

February 14, 2005 by

Hey kids! Be sure to check today's opinion pages for the personal ads disguised as columns or letters to the editor.
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Let’s Drink to Our Fine Water

February 11, 2005 by

Today is supposed to be the last day that they're cleaning the pipes, which means I.V.'s water will be back to normal - whatever that is.
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