Hey kids! Be sure to check today’s opinion pages for the personal ads disguised as columns or letters to the editor. Aren’t they so romantic?
Monday’s forecast: Newsprint is love.
I Hate Valentine’s Day, so Date Me
Featured Comic
Nevada Missed the Memo
Aries
March 21 - April 19
The new stupid Twitter function that makes retweeting take two steps
Taurus
April 20 - May 20
Snapchat’s eurocentric filters
Gemini
May 21 - June 20
The new Instagram tab solely for Reels
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
Not showing posts on my IG feed in chronological order
Leo
July 23 - August 22
The algorithm that thinks I'm interested in fitness just because I liked ONE post to support a friend who was proud of their weight loss
Virgo
August 23 - September 22
Facebook reminding me that my account still exists once a month because another friend's mom sent me a friend request
Libra
September 23 - October 22
TikTok Rewards points
Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
Poking on Facebook
Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
IG recommending you to follow people you knew from like … middle school
Capricorn
December 22 - January 19
Facebook still asking me if I’m registered to vote
Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
The way there’s no dislike button on IG or Twitter
Pisces
February 19 - March 20
Snap Map … no one except for creeps is checking where you are
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