Weather

Tastes Like Good

November 4, 2005 by

To be a good weatherhuman, you also have to have good weathertaste. Here's some stuff you should be listening to because I listen to it
read more

Slim Pickings

November 3, 2005 by

Signing up for classes is like choosing which kind of ass the 'human wants from the 3 a.m. pickings on DP. I want something that won't be too much of an inconvenience in the morning,
read more

Fuck Princeton

November 2, 2005 by

Apparently UCSB got a shout out on ABC's new show "Commander in Chief." The press secretary was accused of being a UCSB sorority girl who spent most of her college years "on her knees."
read more

Working for Work

November 1, 2005 by

Working on Halloween night is the equivalent of getting really high and drunk at work.
read more

75 Percent Alcohol

October 31, 2005 by

If you're reading this, congratulations: you're alive. If you're not reading this, congratulations: you're only three quarters of the way through your bender.
read more

Voodoo Poopoo

October 27, 2005 by

Only one more issue until Halloween weekend. If you're worried about it raining, don't worry.
read more

Oppression

October 26, 2005 by

Two words: mint spermicide.
read more

Phat Al

October 25, 2005 by

I don't know if you saw or not, but a hero of the 'human's was tragically hurled onto his bum yesterday by Hurricane Wilma. Al Roker, who most of us know as Phat Al, put his life in danger and went to...
read more

Sue Happy

October 24, 2005 by

So apparently the House of Representatives passed a
read more

Altering History

October 21, 2005 by

Halloween is fast approaching and the 'human still has no idea what it's going to be for Halloween. Conventional wisdom suggests the 'human will have the most unique, witty and hilarious costume out t...
read more

Fortune Cookie Crooky

October 19, 2005 by

It's good to be the weatherhuman. Not only do you get to say whatever the hell you want to 20,000 people (well, let's be honest: 2,000,000 people), you get to be in control of the weather.
read more

So rude, hmph.

October 18, 2005 by

Rain, rain, go away, come again some other day when I don't have beach plans you inconsiderate asshole of a meteorological system.
read more

Eating Out of the Dumpster

October 17, 2005 by

You know what's fun? Eating-out jokes. For example, this weekend I ate-out at Anna's "Bakery," Sam's (To-Go), Woody's, Jack(s) (in the) Box, Javan's, Gio's and Gina's.
read more

Gender Bender

October 13, 2005 by

Some people say the media tells people what to think. Others say the media tells people what to think about.
read more

On the Naughty List

October 12, 2005 by

It's days like yesterday that make the 'human feel guilty for not telling you to prepare for depressing gray skies. Then again, you should have seen it coming yourself, so I don't feel too bad.
read more