Apparently UCSB got a shout out on ABC’s new show “Commander in Chief.” The press secretary was accused of being a UCSB sorority girl who spent most of her college years “on her knees.” Then, the press secretary retorts “I grew up in Santa Barbara. I went to school at Princeton.” The ‘human thinks it’s repulsive we were mentioned in the same sentence as those slimy Princeton fucks.

Wednesday’s forecast: Princeton’s student newspaper to begin a Missionary Monday column.