Opinion
In the past 40 years, America has spent a lot of money fighting foreign wars. Vietnam, Iraq, Iraq again, Afghanistan and these wars obviously come with a considerable price tag. However, I’d like to...
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About four years ago, when I was still a sophomore in high school and UCSB was merely a speck on the horizon, a girl in my class died of cancer. It was a slow death (as death by cancer often is) inter...
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Ladies and gentlemen, I come before you today a woman who enjoys indulging in her favorite adult toy when her roommates are gone. I am an avid fan of toys and if you aren’t, then you’ve probably n...
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During presidential campaigns we often forget that, despite acting to the contrary, America is not the center of the world. As a superpower — I would argue imperial power — the U.S. values the liv...
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When he made his speech before the British Parliament in 1982, President Reagan commented: “I’ve always wondered about the shyness of some of us in the West about standing for these ideals (indivi...
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Q: Why should I get a flu shot? People always tell me it actually gives you the flu! A: You smart college students should know that a killed, sterilized tiny particle of influenza virus in the flu sho...
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Anyone who’s had wisdom teeth removed or suffered a substantial injury like a fractured collarbone or broken leg may attest to the availability of opioid prescriptions such as Vicodin, Percocet or O...
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Old people suck at technology. I know that by saying that, I run the risk of being chased out of town by a torch-and-pitchfork wielding brigade of seniors on mobility scooters. I don’t deny that the...
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Readers, it is with my first words that I must apologize: This Hump will not be on the seduction strategies of women in I.V. as was promised last week. Instead, I have been compelled by a number of so...
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As you may or may not know, tomorrow, October 11th, is National Coming Out Day. For many (like myself), this is a day for celebration among members of the queer community. For others though, being ope...
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As I watched the first Presidential Debate last Wednesday, I almost couldn’t help but pity the president. By any — and effectively all — metrics, Gov. Romney wiped the floor with him. The contra...
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Frustrating. That is how I would describe last week’s “debate.” Let’s start with the president. Historically speaking, incumbents typically underperform in the first of the debates for two rea...
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It’s now time for the second Question Authority article of the year. This one always makes me feel like I’m back in third grade and Ms. Dinklemeyer (Note: Not her real name. Name has been changed ...
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If this is your first year at UCSB, welcome! I don’t think my message to you should extend too far beyond that simple greeting. I’m not going to pretend that being in college for a year has made m...
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Prompt: How can atheism be beneficial to women? My first thought is to say that yes, atheism does benefit women. The rejection of a god or gods along with the misogynistic traditions and belief...
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Ride through the bike path without crashing
Find a seat at the red couches on the second floor of the library
Sunrise and sunset dip on the same day
Find parking on Del Playa Drive
Drunk for 24 hours
Bagel crawl
First pick at an Arbor muffin in the morning
Participate in a mosh pit at a band show
Finally talk to their class crush
Get an earlier pass time than their friends in GOLD
Graduate
Successfully walk through I.V. without seeing an old hookup
