Opinion
As Halloween approaches, I find myself wondering what wonders the October holiday has in store for me. Will I relive freshman year, when a downpour melted the “costumes” off of a group of Isla Vis...
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Q: Is it acceptable to prohibit blasphemy in consideration of public safety? Happy belated International Blasphemy Rights Day! Recent events have made this quasi-holiday associated with Septemb...
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It’s Halloween already here at UCSB! It seems like we just started the school year a month ago and it’s already that time for the annual hunt through the local thrift stores for the greatest in 19...
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In the past 40 years, America has spent a lot of money fighting foreign wars. Vietnam, Iraq, Iraq again, Afghanistan and these wars obviously come with a considerable price tag. However, I’d like to...
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About four years ago, when I was still a sophomore in high school and UCSB was merely a speck on the horizon, a girl in my class died of cancer. It was a slow death (as death by cancer often is) inter...
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Ladies and gentlemen, I come before you today a woman who enjoys indulging in her favorite adult toy when her roommates are gone. I am an avid fan of toys and if you aren’t, then you’ve probably n...
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During presidential campaigns we often forget that, despite acting to the contrary, America is not the center of the world. As a superpower — I would argue imperial power — the U.S. values the liv...
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When he made his speech before the British Parliament in 1982, President Reagan commented: “I’ve always wondered about the shyness of some of us in the West about standing for these ideals (indivi...
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Q: Why should I get a flu shot? People always tell me it actually gives you the flu! A: You smart college students should know that a killed, sterilized tiny particle of influenza virus in the flu sho...
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Anyone who’s had wisdom teeth removed or suffered a substantial injury like a fractured collarbone or broken leg may attest to the availability of opioid prescriptions such as Vicodin, Percocet or O...
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Old people suck at technology. I know that by saying that, I run the risk of being chased out of town by a torch-and-pitchfork wielding brigade of seniors on mobility scooters. I don’t deny that the...
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Readers, it is with my first words that I must apologize: This Hump will not be on the seduction strategies of women in I.V. as was promised last week. Instead, I have been compelled by a number of so...
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As you may or may not know, tomorrow, October 11th, is National Coming Out Day. For many (like myself), this is a day for celebration among members of the queer community. For others though, being ope...
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As I watched the first Presidential Debate last Wednesday, I almost couldn’t help but pity the president. By any — and effectively all — metrics, Gov. Romney wiped the floor with him. The contra...
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Frustrating. That is how I would describe last week’s “debate.” Let’s start with the president. Historically speaking, incumbents typically underperform in the first of the debates for two rea...
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Everything shower every day
Has an extensive tote bag collection but never brings one to Trader Joe’s
Reusing condoms
Collecting tears to water their plants
Asking to shower together to “save water”
Air conditioning and electric blanket running simultaneously
Has gone from Temu to SHEIN for bikini purchases
Fracking
On their 10th flight out of Santa Barbara Airport this month
Owns seven Stanley cups
Wrote their environmental ethics essay with ChatGPT
Vegan contributing to Big Almond
