News

Leg Council Reviews Plans for I.V.

April 3, 2003 by

The council heard a presentation from Jamie Goldstein, planning project manager for I.V., that outlined many of the goals and potential problems facing the redevelopment plan. A.S. holds one of 13 vot...
read more

Art Studio Grad Student Dies

April 2, 2003 by

UCSB graduate student Chris August passed away Sunday at 12:23 a.m. in the Santa Barbara area. He was in his early forties. The Santa Barbara County Coroner's Office could not be contacted for informa...
read more

State Triumphs in Coastal Oil Dispute

April 2, 2003 by

Any oil companies looking to develop leases off the coast of California will have to get by the state government first, as the federal government has backed off from its attempt to control all offshor...
read more

Elderly Man Kills Wife, Calls 911

April 2, 2003 by

Sheriff's deputies arrested an elderly Lompoc man Tuesday morning on suspicion of murdering his wife. Officers responded to the home of Eugene Carl Morgan, 77, after dispatch received information from...
read more

Mediator Urges New Contract for C.U.E., UC

April 2, 2003 by

Almost two years of contract negotiations between the University of California and its clerical workers may finally come to an end in the coming weeks.
read more

Do You Want Fries With That?

April 2, 2003 by


read more

Regents Indulge GPAs for a Price

April 1, 2003 by

As its coffers dwindle, the University of California is offering its academic wastrels a chance to repent and earn forgiveness through donations to the Mother University.
read more

Right Makes Might?

April 1, 2003 by

Republican armies took control of key northwestern trade routes and Islavistingham ale-smuggling corridors Monday, marking the latest pitched battle in a series of armed clashes between political ideo...
read more

UC Merced May Evict Wee Folkes

April 1, 2003 by

The proposed University of California, Merced should eventually have one of the best animal husbandry programs from here to Gaul, but the region's faerie shrimp, gnomes, nymphs, sprites, pixies and ot...
read more

Vampire Convention Brings A Blood-Letting Good Time

April 1, 2003 by

TRANSYLVANIA, Romania (AP) -- The centennial International Blood Suckers Union (IBSU) vampire convention was held this past weekend to give the undead from all over Europe the chance to congregate and...
read more

Mead Fortifies A.S. Resolution

April 1, 2003 by

A.S. representatives officially declared their support for Scotland during a towne hall meeting last night, resulting in the first meeting marked by peace and quiet - the sort of peace and quiet that ...
read more

Beasts Devour Publicity

April 1, 2003 by

They have returned. After much worry and bad humours of the bile, the Santa Barbara Zoological Garden staff welcomed back their Grendels with great pomp and celebration and reopened the Grendel exhibi...
read more

Druids Plan Monolithic Memorial

April 1, 2003 by

The Islavistingham Recreation and Park Druids met Monday night to approve and finalize the design for the proposed Stonehenge Park.The park was proposed last May as a monument to soldiers who lost the...
read more

New Leader To Transmute ITA

April 1, 2003 by

he Institute for Theoretical Alchemy named Sir Steven of Giddinfield as its new director on Monday. Sir Steven will assume his post today with the portentous beginning of a new moon.
read more

Sheriff To Begin Debtor Smackdowne

April 1, 2003 by

In an effort to improve safety and the Chancellor's reputation for maintaining order, Sheriff of Islavistingham Crist‹o Madeira, pledged Monday to crack down on Knaves and Debtors in the seaside...
read more