Steven Ruszczycky

January 22, 2002

Living Without Vowels: Don’t Go to College To Learn How Much You’ll Make

By Steven Ruszczycky

Students who enter the UC system because they have a desire to learn through research are frequently finding themselves in the company of those who couldn't give a damn. This creates an environment that adequately suits ...

January 15, 2002

Living Without Vowels: See the Rats Scurry From Enron’s Sinking Ship

By Steven Ruszczycky

Perhaps most interesting is the uncanny ability of rats to jump ship when the vessel faces imminent doom. However, when the good ship Enron started taking on water, the government decided to ignore the vermin's desperate...

January 8, 2002

Living Without Vowels: Ringing in a Year of Disasters, Cartoons and Vomit

By Steven Ruszczycky

Most people make resolutions they won't keep, they plan for things that will never happen and they dream about how things will be different. I guess I can't blame them too much - optimism never killed anyone.

November 30, 2001

Living Without Vowels: When It Comes to Drugs, Watch Your Glass and Ass

By Steven Ruszczycky

While the decision to do drugs is a personal choice, anyone using them for the purposes of rape ought to have their gonads removed by a hungry poodle.

November 27, 2001

Living Without Vowels: New Law Is a Smoke Screen for Stupidity

By Steven Ruszczycky

The board of supervisors just handed Santa Barbara County residents a 20-foot length of hose and told them to go blow smoke up their butts.

November 20, 2001

Living Without Vowels: Meet the New Boss in Afghanistan, Same as the Old Boss

By Steven Ruszczycky

The Northern Alliance isn't your typical Boy Scout troup either. Their treatment of women hasn't been much better than that of the Taliban. Also, they've been devouring the care packages dropped by American planes.

November 13, 2001

Living Without Vowels: Talkin’ ’bout My Generation Braving A Whole New World

By Steven Ruszczycky

The idea of a generation trying to name itself was interesting, though. Too young to be a part of the slacker Generation X and too old to be a part of the intelligent yet dependent Generation Y, we've become an unidentif...

November 7, 2001

Living Without Vowels: From Anthrax, With Love

By Steven Ruszczycky

Last Friday, I was working at one of my numerous jobs that takes advantage of my unique talent for stuffing and mailing envelopes when my boss materialized in front of my desk to tell me that I had caused an anthrax scar...

October 30, 2001

Living Without Vowels: The Creepy, Craky Tale Behind the UCen’s Past

By Steven Ruszczycky

Tomorrow is Halloween, and what this town needs is a good ghost story to get it in the mood. What follows is a tale of the darker side of UCSB, one of our community's own little urban legends.

October 23, 2001

No One Rallies Around the Flag Like A Moron

By Steven Ruszczycky

There's just something about trying times that brings out the worst in people. While most would resort to anger or fear, Americans have a distinctive talent for falling back on their ability to be inhumanly stupid.

October 19, 2001

Living Without Vowels: A Blockbuster Idea for National Defense

By Steven Ruszczycky

When the government enlisted top writers, directors and video game designers to help increase national security, people started scratching their heads.

October 12, 2001

It’s the Noisy Apes That Get Noticed

By Steven Ruszczycky

Some of the things I've seen make me realize that it's no wonder people look at the student population of I.V. and denounce it as New Sodom.

October 11, 2001

The Death of a Novel

By Steven Ruszczycky

Movie studios have the habit of trying to make good things better. They try to redo good stories and interesting characters for a population with an ever-shrinking attention span.

October 5, 2001

Learning About Good Looks, Health Around Pretty People

By Steven Ruszczycky

There were girls so thin they looked like they'd snap in half if you sneezed on them and guys with chests and arms so thick from gym worship that I wondered if they could wipe their own asses.

September 27, 2001

Masters of Horror Unite

By Steven Ruszczycky

It’s so rare to find a good horror novel these days. Most of the pulp junk on the shelves isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on. Every time a new King or Straub book hits the shelves, fans of the macabr...

May 30, 2001