Twas the Day Before Finals

December 4, 2003 by

It would make a great game show. Your school's teaching assistants plan to strike, but you have to guess why. "Is it Eskimo Pies? Are you planning to strike because you want more Eskimo Pies?" Only t...
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Gutenburg’s Curse

November 10, 2003 by

Books may be emblematic of student life, but more recently they've also come to represent student poverty. Expensive textbooks, however, are a headache the University and its professors could prevent.
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Nexus Election Endorsements: The Recall

October 6, 2003 by

This recall is costing the state of California $70 million that definitely don't need to be spent. Especially not on a sideshow.And there's already talk of a new recall campaign to begin if Schwarzene...
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Nexus Election Endorsements: Governator

October 6, 2003 by

Ah, the least of 152 evils. Picking Cruz Bustamante as the best candidate to replace the present governor is like spotting the least soiled corner of a discolored Motel 6 mattress.
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Nexus Election Endorsements: Prop. 53

October 6, 2003 by

Proposition 53 is the closest thing to being boring to the point of death that anyone at this office has ever encountered. An interesting scheme, really, if its intent is as malicious as its possibili...
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Nexus Election Endorsements: Prop. 54

October 6, 2003 by

Although UC Regent Ward Connerly would like for the ethnically diverse state of California to cease differentiating between black, white, brown and every other shade of skin color, a ban on racial cla...
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Bus-ted

October 3, 2003 by

Watergate, Monicagate, Fajitagate. And now a scandal to top them all: Bus Gategate. The label "scandal" possibly casts too poor a light on a simple device, but the gate installed to allow only Santa B...
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Porn Is Not the Enemy

September 26, 2003 by

Slithering into Isla Vista in a grimy rut well-worn by the vices of alcohol, drugs, sexual harassment and objectification is that lusty, gonad-shaking demon called porn.
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Don’t Cry for Me, Manzanita

September 22, 2003 by

Shiny, spacious and still smelling like new, Manzanita Village is the Carnival cruise liner of UCSB's dorms. San Miguel, conversely, is like a canoe with a broken paddle floating in a sewage treatment...
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Fuzzy Math

April 17, 2003 by

From the same people who squandered student money in tech stocks and have continually asked students for more cash in the past three elections comes another Associated Students blunder - the sliding-s...
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