Farting Man in Girvetz Must’ve Forgotten He Can’t Mute Himself
For this apparent flatulence fiend terrorizing Girvetz 2115, sphincter control appears to have been an oversight in the shift from online classes.
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Please Don’t Try to Bike Over the Hump Pls
Labyrinth: Grades Search
Aries
March 21 - April 19
Ends on ‘good terms’ but is blocked on Instagram
Taurus
April 20 - May 20
Slow fade
Gemini
May 21 - June 20
Ghosting them on a random Monday
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
“It’s not you, it’s me”
Leo
July 23 - August 22
Drunk Uber “we need to talk” voice memo
Virgo
August 23 - September 22
Presents a notes app pros and cons list
Libra
September 23 - October 22
Asks to still be friends
Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
Drops their stuff off, never speaks to them again
Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
Texts “this isn’t working” then posts from another country
Capricorn
December 22 - January 19
“It’s not me, it’s you”
Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
Tells them they need to focus on Econ 10A
Pisces
February 19 - March 20
Delivers a hand-written letter to their mom
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