People talk about professors being liberal. A few even talk about professors being conservative. But it’s much simpler than all that. Most people can tell you what your professors think: They think:

1) that you have no other classes besides their own.

2) that you will never under any circumstances need to use the restroom. This is because their lecturing style is so riveting that your kidneys will enter a state of suspended animation rather than force you to leave the classroom.

3) The material they teach is relevant to everyone and everything. Failure to realize this means simply that you must have your “awareness raised.”

4) Any term paper that they agree with need not cite sources, because everything it contains is “common knowledge.” Any term paper they disagree with must have a five-page annotated bibliography.

Wednesday’s forecast: Class as usual.