You all failed me. All I asked was that you band together just a little bit to elect the Weatherhuman as A.S. president, and you let me down. Thanks guys. To make it worse, A.S. didn’t even include me in their election tally. Actually, that’s a tad suspicious, don’t you think? It leads me to the obvious conclusion that the elections are rigged! Why, oh why must UCSB students have such a propensity for voter fraud? I’m calling Steve Pappas!

Tomorrow’s forecast: The appeals process and massive investigation into every vote begins. I mean, it’s not like I could have lost fair and square or anything.