Nicolas Brown-Corrada / Daily Nexus
Avert your eyes: There’s a cuteness overload roaming the streets of Isla Vista!
I’m sure all of your social media feeds have been flooded with adorable videos of that cute baby monkey and his plush orangutan. If you’ve fallen in love with Punch like everyone else has, then I have some exciting news for you: UCSB is now the home of an even more wholesome duo.
Fifth-year computer science major Ivan Jerganov has had a hard time fitting in with his peers. He tried to rush a frat in his freshman year, but was ostracized and never got a bid. The lovable goof has also been fired from several jobs for “unpleasant odor” and “gross misconduct.”
Several heartwrenching videos have gone viral of Jerganov being bullied by his fellow students. They scold him with cruel words like “Why are you breathing so heavy?” and “Get away from me, stalker! I told you six times already I don’t want to be your ‘foot goddess,’ whatever that means!” We’ve all cried watching them.
More recently, Jerganov met what has become the other half of the most adorable duo on campus: a blow-up sex doll named Henrietta (after former UCSB Chancellor Henry T. Yang). Although she was originally purchased as an “acclimatization tool,” Jerganov has quickly taken to bringing his new best friend everywhere. You might see them walking down Del Playa Drive, or getting dinner at DLG. One thing is for sure — they’re just too stinkin’ cute!
People across the country have expressed their love for the heartwarming pair.“Ivan is just too precious!” one anonymous commenter said. “I love seeing him and Henrietta around!”
Another commenter mentioned, “Once I saw Ivan dragging her around I was immediately in love. I NEED an Ivan plushie!”
We also sat down for a quick interview with Jerganov and asked him how he felt about his newfound fame.
“Yeah uhh it’s pretty cool I guess, I just don’t really get it,” he said. “But uhh like, I just wanna say with my platform while I have it: if you read this, could you answer one of my Yik Yak posts asking if any girls are awake and DTF? Because nobody ever answers those and it makes me sad.”
Isn’t he just so cute? I wish I could have stayed there and watched him drag Henrietta around all day. It was just too adorable, I couldn’t take it! I guess I’ll just have to follow along on social media like all the rest of you.
UPDATE: All good things must come to an end, I suppose. Henrietta was sadly popped last night after the cute couple got into a domestic dispute.
Don Juan Tenorio kinda wants to be dragged around too.
