AI majors done for

Understandably, UC Santa Barbara Artificial Intelligence (AI) majors have been perturbed by the election. Madeline Smith, a first-year AI major, recently spoke out about the current state of the AI industry.

“I’m honestly really worried about my future. Right now, I am an AI major with an emphasis in AI fruit stories, but I’m not sure if my passions can still translate to a career anymore,” Smith said.

She also claims that now career advisors are instructing her to get a retail job, in the event her fruity plans don’t work out. “He told me to ‘get a real job.’ What. The. Fuck. How can career advisors shit on my lifelong dream like that?” 

Cory Garcia, a first-year AI major, also had worries he expressed to the Daily Nexus..

“Before the midterm, I had an internship locked in with X to be a prompt engineer for Grok’s AI Porn department. After the midterm however, X cut the staff in the department down from 10,000 prompters to just 10 due to ‘the optics.’ What am I meant to do now? Prompting sexy anime girls is all I know,” Garcia said.

Other AI majors we spoke to, such as first-year Johnathan Xiao, have expressed sadness — not necessarily with their job prospects, but rather with their work ethic.

“My SexyBroads.ai girlfriend was my rock. I prompted my heart out on all my assignments because I knew once I was done I could spend time with the people I love — her. She was my everything … After midterms however, SexyBroads.ai decreased the number of messages I could send her every day … She can’t even send me special videos anymore … I’m failing all my classes now.” 

Since speaking to one of our reporters, Xiao has dropped out of school to become an advocate for AI justice.

In the wake of the struggles the midterm has produced for AI majors, UCSB’s Restorative Justice Program has announced that AI majors will get free Claude Max and Meta Muse subscriptions for the rest of their time at UCSB. Furthermore, since UCSB cannot afford that, Bren School of Environmental Science & Management students will be asked to pay double tuition each quarter to make up the difference. 

The Daily Nexus stands in solidarity with AI majors during this trying time. We encourage our readers to stop voting in midterm elections to prevent AI injustice in the future.

High Value Female wishes AI girls would stop rejecting her.