Faith Talamantez/Daily Nexus

Political Science 155L, UCSB’s long-standing congressional simulation course, was not offered this year for the first time since 2010. The course pits students against each other as members of Congress, vying to achieve their legislative goals. Throughout the quarter these congress members meet, debate, strategize and ultimately compromise just as congressmen once did. The course was widely popular despite its reputation for causing romantic flings, nasty breakups, and lifelong personal animosity amongst its participants, including three divorces and one abandoned child. Yet when asked if the removal of the course was permanent the political science department responded affirmatively. 

“To be frank, the course is just flat out unrealistic now,” Mick McAllister, the department head said. “The Congress of the United States of America simply no longer relevant for the functioning of the country, having taken a massive backseat to executive authority.”

McAllister is, of course, referring to the new administration’s usage of executive orders and unilateral actions as the basis of their efforts, which have been described by various outlets as “illegal,” “deeply flawed” or “based as hell” as FOX News would put it. However, Mick says that there is a silver lining.

“The department is debuting a new course for the upcoming fall quarter to keep in line with the real policymakers behind the second Trump administration. The new and improved POLS 155L is to be focused on podcasting and debating unprepared college students.” 

The logic is clear: where they went wrong in the past was by having students on both sides of the aisle be informed on the issues and debating them professionally, when that rarely changes minds. Instead they will focus on having students debate random passersby outside of the Arbor rather than their prepared classmates. The results of these debates will then be taken into account by the professor, who will describe each week how the country has shifted.

Trial runs of the course have gone swimmingly, with two out of the three trials resulting in “extremely poor” economic policy being taken by the fictionalized nation, and the third failing as a result of a global thermonuclear war. McAllister believes that this course will better prepare his students for a career in politics, and hopes they look to his own new podcast, “Saving Democracy Without the Vote” for further inspiration.

Marcus T.C. is sitting at home, pondering how he can use the class to further his crypto scheme.