UCSB announced its new plan for students — most of whom formerly lived in hotels — to be moved to an offshore oil rig, citing “fun and also money” as the main incentives.

“I can’t wait for students to experience dorm-style living like no other!” a UCSB representative said. “We know students will be excited to live in a piece of California history while getting to know each other.”

Plans for the oil rig come from a year-long struggle to provide housing for students. Since Fall Quarter 2021, many students returning to I.V. have had difficulty finding housing. With houses and apartments all rented out and dorms filled to the brim, the university originally rented out hotel rooms for select students who could not find any housing. However, with the hotel program ending over winter break, the university is quickly exploring alternative options.

Plans for the rig will feature 50 suite-style rooms, common areas, free petroleum, and a dining hall. Transportation will consist of a twice-a-day boat shuttle, and a damp towel will be provided to students who decide to make the swim. There is also a state-of-the-art recreation center where exercise is transformed into oil production and refining with the goal of increasing fitness through manual labor.

“School is all about learning,” the representative said when asked if this plan may be controversial. “We figure if students can go to and from class, they can also learn more about some of California’s history in a one-of-a-kind opportunity.”

The current design of the oil rig dorm is planned to be completed in just six weeks, assuming that there will be no sort of objections from students or faculty.

Ben Red has applied to live here next quarter. He is bringing a paddleboard and one extra towel.

A version of this article appeared on p. 9 of the Jan. 27, 2022 print edition of the Daily Nexus.