Autumn is in full swing, and we know you are all looking to get a taste of the fall essence. Unfortunately, Isla Vista’s palm trees don’t exactly turn yellow, brown and red, so this is often difficult. But fear not, because here are seven delicious candles to get you in the spirit of fall!
1. Hot Apple Cider
Forget about dissolving some lousy powder in a mug and throwing it in the microwave with some tap water; this candle is way better. Every breath you take will make you feel as though you’re in a hot tub filled with the sweet stuff. And don’t be afraid to bring a ladle with you to get your fair share.
2. Thanksgiving Turkey
Do you hate America? If not, go and buy this candle so that you feel like you’re celebrating Thanksgiving every day. And unless you hate turkey, too, we recommend taking a pumpkin pie-sized slice of this candle every day the week before Thanksgiving to prepare.
3. Warm Sweater
Almost better than the warmth a fire provides is the warmth your favorite sweater does. This scent comes in two flavors: one laden with perfume if you’re a lady, the other a nice musty smell if you’re a sweaty bro. Either way, it’s a great addition to any home. And if you’re the type who gnaws on your sleeves, you know what to do.
4. Warm Fire
Sweaters are great, but there’s nothing like the cozy, smoky feel that we get from sitting by a warm fire in the middle of the fierce Santa Barbara winter. Just kidding, but this candle will make you feel like it’s cold outside anyway. And if you like the tangy taste of lighter fluid, this’ll do it for you, too.
5. Existential Dread
Is life really meaningless? This scent will help you find some meaning. Actually, it won’t. But the smell will assure you that life is, in fact, meaningless. And, because we all have our favorite existentialist, this scent comes in several variations. Our favorite is Nietzsche-scented; it has the bonus feature of whispering “God is dead” if you take a little taste.
6. Pumpkin Spice Latte
Everybody knows that Starbucks’s Pumpkin Spice Lattes herald the onset of the fall season. But what if you want to experience that great vibe all the time? The solution for all you Starbucks lovers is the PSL-scented candle. Light it up, and it smells so good that you’ll feel like you just walked into a Starbucks. And don’t worry, if the smell makes you thirsty for a hot latte, you can simply drain the molten wax and drink up!
Heat in a large pot for 30 minutes. Remove from heat and allow time to cool, then serve.
Isaac Mikulski is a second-year physics major who is currently waiting to see if “My Strange Addiction” will put him on their show for his addiction to candle-eating.