New year, new you. At least that’s what we tell ourselves every first morning of January. You wake up, take a deep breath and let the motivation surge through your veins as you think of all the things you want to do differently this year. Just in case you are having a little bit of trouble coming up with unrealistic expectations for 2015, we’ve created a list in order to inspire and hopefully guide you this new year.


1. There is a room in your apartment/house that was created specifically for your dining needs. It is called the kitchen. I know it can seem like a scary and daunting place, but once you know how to use appliances other than the microwave, it can be happy and inviting. Therefore, learn how to cook this year! You will not only impress your parents, but also your one-night stands.


2. As a continuation of number 1, how about you take those 15 dollars that you would spend on late-night drunk nachos and maybe save them. Now I know, this can be one of the most difficult choices of free will there is, but you might thank me in the future. Think about it, 15 dollars a week saves you 60 dollars a month. You are now 1/1000000000 closer to buying yourself a car.

Your body might thank me as well.

Your body might thank me as well.

3. Wake your ass up before your 12:30 p.m. class and go jog to Sands. Or walk. Or crawl. Or just roll yourself over there. As long as you go outside. And no, walking to the cabinet to get your morning doughnut does not count. You might be amazed at just how great you feel afterwards.


4. Make it your goal to not miss any classes for the rest of the year. This, my friends, is do-able. Your professors get sad when they don’t see your pretty little faces in lecture. Why in the world would you ever want to make your professors sad, right? Grab your Red Bull or your double-shot non-fat soy latte and just be there. Now you are getting your money’s worth and your professors will stop crying themselves to sleep over your absence. Everyone’s happy.

You might be ... if you go to class.

You might be … if you go to class.

5. Step foot in the library. What is the library you ask? It is a magical placed filled with sleep-deprived students. If you stay up late enough studying, you might even see a unicorn or two. Do not worry, they are real, but only show themselves to those lucky enough to study into the early hours of the morning.


6. Do something that makes you happy. I don’t know about you, but in the middle of the quarter I can lose myself in all that’s going on around me and sometimes it can feel like I’m drowning in responsibility. Make sure that when that happens, you take a couple hours out of your day to do something for YOU. Your health and sanity are important. Do not forget that.



7. Pay rent on time. I know that the 48 pack of Kirkland Light Beer is only 22 dollars at Costco, but let’s be real: If you are late on rent again, your landlord is going to feed you to the sharks.

That would be really bad...

That would be really bad…

8. Quit drinking…

What will I do without my handle of Popov...?

What will I do without my handle of Popov…?

9. Number 8 is an example of an unrealistic resolution, so ignore that one.



10. Stay focused, and remember why you are here. Do not let the distractions get the best of you. You are all hard-working individuals and make sure you keep your lives balanced so that you can still work hard and play harder.



Happy New Year Gauchos! Let’s make this year the best one yet.