As I recently scrolled through my Twitter feed, I stumbled upon an ad for Yik Yak, and in a boredom-induced impulse, I downloaded this mysterious app. What I discovered was life-changing: people make posts that get voted up or down, however they are 100% anonymous! Anyone can post anything, and it was shocking that more people of our lovely community use it than I would have thought. These are some notable Yaks I found:

1.) “Just took a bong rip … And there was a fly in the water.”

Questionable scale: 7/10
Change your water after every “burn sesh” please. I can’t help but imagine the lack of cleanliness in your bong water.

2.) “’Yeah it was hella sick’ ‘Hella sick really’ ‘Yeah it was like hella hella dope’”

Questionable scale: 6/10
As a person with Nor-Cal origins, I can promise you I have never heard anything like this. I am almost speechless… Almost.

3.) “Years of frogger could not prepare me for the UCSB bike paths”

Questionable scale: 1/10
This is actually pretty accurate.

4.) “Woke up at 2pm smelling like tequila and shame”

Questionable scale: 7/10
We all have those days… I guess. No. Please stop. I hope you are a freshman.

5.) “Fuck me for having a class immediately after sexuality… damn that class makes me want to just have sex for hours”

Questionable scale: 6/10
Isn’t that class taught by the elderly Baldwin couple? Also, I heard it was boring. Please, discover the world of pornography.

6.) “It was murder she (ALEKS) wrote :(”

Questionable scale: -5/10
This is so relevant, its questionable-ness is negative. God help all your gen chem souls.

7.) “I feel like I should get checked for Ebola every time my ass accidentally slides against the showers wall”

Questionable scale: 9/10
I don’t understand this. “Accidentally”?

8.) “omg wow congrats sorority girls you made it a whole week without drinking!! let’s celebrate by drinking every night til our boobs fall off”

Questionable Scale: 5/10
I remember when my boobs fell off from too much drinking :/

9.) “Just saw a young Hitler strolling through the DLG”

Questionable scale: 11/10
………………….No

10.) “SBCC. Where you get to fuck all the UCSB girls for 1/4th the price.”

Questionable scale: 11/10
I actually had to read this one twice. Whoever wrote this, you need to reevaluate your life.