As I recently scrolled through my Twitter feed, I stumbled upon an ad for Yik Yak, and in a boredom-induced impulse, I downloaded this mysterious app. What I discovered was life-changing: people make posts that get voted up or down, however they are 100% anonymous! Anyone can post anything, and it was shocking that more people of our lovely community use it than I would have thought. These are some notable Yaks I found:

1.) “Just took a bong rip … And there was a fly in the water.”
Questionable scale: 7/10
Change your water after every “burn sesh” please. I can’t help but imagine the lack of cleanliness in your bong water.

2.) “’Yeah it was hella sick’ ‘Hella sick really’ ‘Yeah it was like hella hella dope’”
nic cage
Questionable scale: 6/10
As a person with Nor-Cal origins, I can promise you I have never heard anything like this. I am almost speechless… Almost.

3.) “Years of frogger could not prepare me for the UCSB bike paths”
Questionable scale: 1/10
This is actually pretty accurate.

4.) “Woke up at 2pm smelling like tequila and shame”
Questionable scale: 7/10
We all have those days… I guess. No. Please stop. I hope you are a freshman.

5.) “Fuck me for having a class immediately after sexuality… damn that class makes me want to just have sex for hours”
Questionable scale: 6/10
Isn’t that class taught by the elderly Baldwin couple? Also, I heard it was boring. Please, discover the world of pornography.

6.) “It was murder she (ALEKS) wrote :(”
Questionable scale: -5/10
This is so relevant, its questionable-ness is negative. God help all your gen chem souls.

7.) “I feel like I should get checked for Ebola every time my ass accidentally slides against the showers wall”
Questionable scale: 9/10
I don’t understand this. “Accidentally”?

8.) “omg wow congrats sorority girls you made it a whole week without drinking!! let’s celebrate by drinking every night til our boobs fall off”
Questionable Scale: 5/10
I remember when my boobs fell off from too much drinking :/

9.) “Just saw a young Hitler strolling through the DLG”
Questionable scale: 11/10

10.) “SBCC. Where you get to fuck all the UCSB girls for 1/4th the price.”
Questionable scale: 11/10
I actually had to read this one twice. Whoever wrote this, you need to reevaluate your life.