Do you ever undress a hottie with your eyes and imagine what Shorty’d look like if she dropped ’em to the ground like she ain’t got manners? That does seem to be the goal doesn’t it — getting some sexy thing into your bed naked? But then what do we do: lights out for the duration of the evening and an early-morning quick change?

If imagining someone in the flesh gets us so immediately turned on, why do we so often spend the night reading body Braille? When did we go from “look, but don’t touch” to “see no evil?”

The acceptance and appreciation of the naked human body is not only personal, but extremely culture specific. When I go to the beach here in Barcelona, I never wear a bathing suit top — not because I’m an exhibitionist, but because the majority of the women around me are doing the same. I mean, I can’t speak for guys, who think boobs are like fun bags filled with candy and treasure that can be stared at for hours on end, but becoming comfortable with exposing my breasts in public has really desensitized me when I spot them around town. I’ve actually gotten so used to seeing double that I don’t even bat an eye when a set of jugs crosses my path.

This of course begs the question: Are Americans too uptight about nudity? Well, that’s hard to say. No, we don’t see tits flashing up onscreen during a body soap commercial like so many European countries allow, but more and more ass-shots are sneaking into the PG-13 category and we’ve seemed to loosen up a bit about correlating female promiscuity to the amount of skin a girl’s outfit exposes.

I suppose our main issue with nudity then, is with context. A woman taking out her breast in a public area to breastfeed her child is considered socially acceptable, but an innocent boob looking for a breeze to cool down in falls into the flasher category. Kids can run around naked up to a certain age, but are later told to be embarrassed about exposing themselves. This leaves the pre-teen years as a time of acne, awkward rubbing and self-consciousness, ultimately climaxing in loads of body image issues. We are told to cover up, then to make our bodies look flawless and rock-hard when we are naked, and finally called sluts and show-offs for letting it all hang out. Ok, so maybe Americans aren’t uptight, but we certainly are confused.

I know what you’re thinking, that’s fine and dandy, but what does this have to do with Pootie Tang? Well, since the only reason I am here is to give you a boner in class let me assure you that there is a point to all this and it definitely has to do with your sex life.

On average, how many people throughout the day see you completely, head-to-toe, buck naked? I’m talking full-frontal flesh couture. The fact is, we want our bodies to look great, but who’s really seeing them in the nude? Well, yeah, our private-part doctors, but mostly the people we choose to have sex with. These are the individuals we allegedly trust enough to expose ourselves to completely — mind and body.

Yet I’ll be the first to admit that feeling comfortable sleeping with someone and feeling comfortable being naked in front of the same person are two entirely separate issues. Yes, they should come hand-in-hand, but when it comes down to self-esteem and openness, there is a huge disconnect between our sexuality and how comfortable we are with our naked selves.

So many women have a really hard time opening up to having sex with the light on or during the day, just because they’re afraid the person they’re sleeping with won’t like what they see. Well let me just say that if someone is in your bed, they are attracted to your body and want to see all you have to offer. If you can just let yourself be vulnerable and let go, the sex you’re having will be even sexier.

So let’s stop playing hide-and-seek, drop trou and step into the limelight. Sex should tantalize all the senses, and seeing is believing. Plus, no one in their right mind would say no to a morning-after shower sesh. Naked, wet, delicious.